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What Helps Me Cope with Difficult Emotions

By on June 1, 2018
Emotions

By Sara Fabian

“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
“Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
– “The Story of the Two Wolves.”

I fully believe Heaven and Hell are two states of mind, representing two different ways of living our lives on Earth.

Whenever we feed our mind with negative thoughts of anger, anxiety, envy, jealousy, lies, guilt or resentment, we create a Hell of fear, worries and negative thoughts that make us feel frustrated, miserable and sad.

Whenever we nourish our mind with thoughts of joy, peace, honesty, hope, understanding and care (in relationship to ourselves and others), we create a positive internal universe of compassion, a Heaven where the primary language is the one of love.

“The Story of the Two Wolves” is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever heard. And still, I am here to ask if it is even possible to have no fears and only experience so-perceived “positive” emotions: happiness, joy, satisfaction, content, and so on.

The truth is being human also comes along with rough times, dealing with loss, failure, and disappointment, sadness, sufferance and pain. Ignoring the reality of our emotions is being in denial.

Everyone is striving to be happy. Most of us have been taught to suppress such so-called “negative” emotions and avoid pain. However, is that even possible? At least for me, I know it doesn’t work.

However, I found a way to stop identifying myself with my emotions, knowing that they are transitory. I learned to witness them with no judgment, instead of labeling myself through my feelings.

Instead of “I’m sad,” I say: “There is sadness in me right now.”
Instead of “I’m angry,” I say: “There is anger in me right now.”
Instead of “I’m worried,” I say: “There is a worry in me right now.”

Acting as an observer helps me take my power back. This way, can self-manage my emotions, instead of letting them control me. Energy consuming stress that once used to torment me does not own me any longer, and I own it instead.

“Feelings are just visitors; let them come and go.” – Mooji

When we acknowledge the entire range of emotions instead of trying to suppress or ignore them, we embrace our humanity and approve of ourselves, as we are.

Today I know I am not my thoughts, in the same way, I am not what I feel. My spirit refuses to be put in a box and labeled. I am a soul who is here to learn, grow from new experiences and be as happy as I could be.

 

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my pictureSara Fabian is a Women’s Career and Empowerment Coach, trainer and inspirational speaker, on a mission to help professional women to discover their unique gifts and talents, boost their confidence, find their calling and live a meaningful life of purpose. In addition to her life coaching practice, Sara helps female leaders find their authentic voice, build on their strengths, and become the inspiring leaders everyone would want to follow. Her work appeared on Tiny Buddha, Positively Positive, Success Magazine, Goalcast, Thrive, and more.

For weekly inspiration, subscribe to her free newsletter at sarafabiancoaching.com or follow her on Facebook.

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