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The Unexpected Liberation of a Butt Dial

By on March 13, 2024
butt dial phonecall

by Diane Thomassin

Six years ago, a chance butt dial from a friend led to a startling revelation that shook my world in unexpected ways. Picture this: I was going about my business when my dear friend (or should I say “frenemy”) inadvertently called me. For those unfamiliar with the term, a butt dial occurs when someone unknowingly calls you and doesn’t realize you can hear them. Little did she know, I overheard her comments about my supposed “Oxnard accent,” which, in reality, is not as pronounced as she made it out to be.

Mocking the way we speak in Oxnard, with its large Mexican-American population, felt racially insensitive, but that wasn’t even the worst part. What truly rocked my world wasn’t just the linguistic jabs. It dawned on me that I had been complicit in a toxic dynamic, silently listening to her trash talk others, including her friends, family, neighbors, and clients. It was a wake-up call, to say the least. This behavior, I learned, can be a sign of narcissistic tendencies, as narcissists often belittle others to boost their low self-esteem.

I appreciate humor that celebrates cultural diversity, but it’s crucial to recognize the distinction between light-hearted teasing and hurtful language disguised as jokes. Unfortunately, that boundary has been crossed multiple times, especially by one individual who has been engaging in such behavior since our elementary school days, using derogatory language aimed at specific ethnicities. Initially, I may have brushed it off as harmless banter and even responded in kind with my own attempts at humor, but I now realize the impact of such language and no longer condone it.

I recognized a pattern of constantly belittling others not only in her but in too many people in my life. I was determined to get to the bottom of this behavior. During this period of introspection, I immersed myself in the field of psychology, absorbing information from a variety of sources and authors. I gained a deep understanding of the harmful effects of narcissistic behaviors.

It was a sobering wake-up call to realize that I had unknowingly contributed to toxic behaviors. But there’s a silver lining to this comedy of errors. I emerged armed with the wisdom to surround myself with people who uplift and respect me, while firmly rejecting any hint of discriminatory nonsense. I also resolved to detox from my own toxicity and its influences. My newfound revelation may not have made it to the gossip circuit, but I now stand tall after an inadvertent pitfall into the world of narcissism. It’s liberating, trust me.

While it’s not easy, confronting narcissistic behavior is an eye-opening journey that led me to cut ties with toxic influences and embrace self-empowerment. So, there you have it. This unexpected butt dial brought with it a mix of humor and revelation, shedding light on toxic friendships and the importance of self-discovery. As for me, I’m basking in my newfound freedom from narcissistic antics – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

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Diane Thomassin, a screenwriter from Ventura, is dedicated to capturing the complexities of human life in her stories. Her work highlights resilience, personal growth, and the rejection of narcissistic behavior in ourselves and others. Diane is committed to creating narratives that showcase the universal aspects of humanity and the many layers of human strength. She believes in the power of storytelling to promote empathy, inclusivity, and positive social change. Dedicated to championing diversity, equity, and inclusion in her work, Diane strives to honor the richness of different cultures and identities. Her sense of humor is no secret, and she believes in sharing the idea that laughter can be a powerful defense against life’s challenges.

 

 

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