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The Old Boys Club + Lisa LaFlamme
By Crystal Andrus Morissette
I rarely tell the story of why I went into business for myself and why I only work with women, but after seeing the debacle this week with Canadian media royalty, Lisa LaFlamme, I thought it was time.
First, let me recap the LaFlamme story:
Lisa LaFlamme is a Canadian television journalist and (until this week) the chief anchor and senior editor of CTV National News. She has worked for CTV News for the last 35 years, reporting from conflict zones and the sites of devastating natural disasters. She replaced Lloyd Robertson as the chief anchor on September 5, 2011. Lloyd left at age 77 on his own terms. Lisa is 58. Lisa went on to win Best News Anchor five times at the Canadian Screen Awards, most recently in 2021 and 2022. In a two-minute video she posted on Twitter Monday, LaFlamme announced she had been ousted as anchor of CTV National News, one of the country’s most-watched evening shows and was shocked and saddened.
HERE’S WHAT WE THINK: Lisa LaFlamme was one of many women who stopped dyeing her hair during the pandemic and allowed her natural hair color to show. It was reported that Michael Melling, a senior executive hired in 2022 at CTV News, asked who had approved the decision to ‘let Lisa’s hair go grey.’ He’s also the person responsible for her dismissal.
HERE’S THE MESSAGE TO WOMEN: We can’t age. Women certainly can’t go grey. We need to be pretty, thin, and young. “Relevant” is the word they use. Younger is better, we’re constantly told in a million and one ways. And finally, if we don’t play the game and do the dance, we can lose our job.
You know the dance, right?
So many of us have had to “dance” with men in the corporate world to keep our jobs, advance our jobs, and even get the damn job.
In my life, I could no longer pretend and play the game. So, here’s why I left the corporate world and opened a school empowering women. Viewer discretion is advised:
I was in my mid-thirties and a single mother. I’d gotten a three-book publishing deal, and my career was taking off. I was speaking at many large events and conferences, and I’d landed a lucrative spokesperson deal with a national company. It was time to renegotiate my yearly contract with them.
This particular evening, I met with the CEO at a fancy restaurant, and all was going well until it was time to leave. Then, while we were walking down the stairwell to the underground parking, he pushed me against the cement wall, quickly thrust his hand up my dress, and told me he wanted to f*ck my c*nt. (He said the actual words.)
I was so utterly shocked that I didn’t respond appropriately. I should have slapped him across the face and called the police. Instead, I pushed him away and told him that I had a boyfriend.
I had a boyfriend????
When I got into my vehicle, I punched my steering wheel about 100 times. He called me on the way home to let me know he wasn’t looking for a serious thing, just some fun on the side. I was speechless. I barely responded. We hung up, and I sobbed the rest of the way.
The thing is, I wasn’t interested in pretending we may have some kind of sexual future, but I needed my job. I needed that contract. I needed to take care of my children.
I went to see a lawyer within a few days to see what I could do. The lawyer told me it was my word against his, that it was a small ‘community,’ and that if I came off like a Whistleblower, I might never get another contract like this again. Plus, he was rich, and I wasn’t. He would most likely win.
I decided to tell a few of the top-level women in the company, thinking they might side with me. Support me. Protect me. One of them told me he had done something similar to her in an elevator after a work party. ?
About a week later, I was called into their office, and the oldest woman who worked there, his right-hand woman, took me out for lunch and flatly told me they would not be renewing my contract. No reason why. They just weren’t. Bye.
I quietly walked away and said nothing to anyone at the company. Or to him. Or to anyone. I somehow felt ashamed. Stupid. Angry and embarrassed. I internalized it and decided somehow it was my fault.
All I knew was that I was DONE working with men. I would never let another man do anything like this to me again.
You have to realize, I’d already been sexually abused by different men my single mother brought into our home when I was young, and I was stranger raped at 14. I’d been severely bullied, physically and emotionally, by my older brother. I’d never had a man treat me with dignity and respect.
I was a sexual object, less valuable, and the message was loud and clear: MEN RUN THE WORLD.
But I couldn’t be in that world anymore. So, I made the decision I would build my own empire. I would only work with women.
They say we teach what we need to learn. Not only have I learned a lot since then, but I also learned that nothing will change until we speak out and share our stories.
Since the #MeToo movement, it feels like there is a whole new backlash against women. From the reversal of Roe vs Wade, the old white boys club is fighting for its life, and we women aren’t having it.
So today, I stand with Lisa LaFlamme and any other woman who knows her value, worth, and dignity is not determined by the color of her hair, the size of her breasts, the shape of her waist, or any other physical attribute.
We, as women, also need to understand what internalized misogyny is and STOP DOING IT to each other. The women in that company could have stood with me and stopped his abuse and power.
I’m also asking men to learn what male fragility looks and feels like, not to take our frustrations personally, but to see the bigger picture and stand with women. Stand for equality. Stand for justice. Become our ally. Let us join you at the board table and the pool table. Treat us with dignity, gentleness, love, and respect. We need you. We can’t do this alone.
If you have your own story of gender inequality, abuse, and discrimination, I’d like to hear from you. EMAIL me at info@SWATinstitute.com and tell me about it.
Your voice matters. Your life matters. You matter.
Huge love,
Crystal
********
Crystal Andrus Morissette, Founder Simply Woman Magazine
From life as a homeless teen to coaching A-List celebrities, from having abs of steel and the Miss Galaxy to weighing over 200 pounds after having babies, Emotional Age and Communication Expert Crystal Andrus Morissette is a worldwide leader in the field of self-discovery and personal transformation. A media darling, she has been featured numerous times on Oprah.com, the New York Post, Fox TV, the Daily Mail, CBS Radio, CTV, CityTV, Global TV, Slice TV, the Globe and Mail, and the Toronto Star. Crystal is the founder of the S.W.A.T. Institute (Simply Woman Accredited Trainer), an empowerment coach certification exclusively for women that she created with fellow female visionaries Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Colette Baron-Reid, and Sandra Anne Taylor among others. Established in 2009, the S.W.A.T. Institute is now in over 30 countries.
Crystal is the author of five best-selling books, including her latest release entitled, “Simply…Woman: Stories from 30 magnificent women who have risen against the odds!” She is also certified in nutrition, sports medicine, and yoga.
Crystal’s message of resilience, strength, and inner power has allowed her to grace the stage with speakers such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Naomi Judd, Suze Orman, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Dr. Joan Borysenko, Debbie Ford, Sarah Ferguson—Duchess of York, and many more. Crystal has coached women from all walks of life including A-list celebrities, best-selling authors, scientists, doctors, dentists, and lawyers to stay-at-home moms and struggling teens. Her passion is to get down in the trenches and help people become the (s)heroes of their own lives.
www.crystalandrusmorissette.com | www.swatinstitute.com