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Editor Natalie Hughes: The Process is the Goal.

By on September 23, 2013
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If there is one day I can always count on for one of my epiphanies, it’s a Simply Woman Retreat.

Each time I facilitate these magical days with Crystal Andrus, I come away with a new flashlight in my toolbox, and Saturday was no exception. The only hitch in the timing of my revelation was, “What in the world am I going to do with this piece of writing, now brewing in my thoughts, unable to scribble or type while driving home?” And I know from experience, if I don’t take the opportunity to write when inspiration lights, it will float off, never to be recorded with those same lenses looking inward, with that same fresh perspective I have in the moment it strikes. So it’s like, OH! now? you give me words right NOW? Seriously. At this point it’s pitch black on a winding country road and I need to be getting home.

Suddenly it dawns on me that I have a voice memo in my phone, so I manage to hit record and dictate the thoughts that flood me.

Today it is about finding a better balance with becoming Process Oriented vs. Results Oriented.

It’s natural that I would be a results-driven woman, with 20 years of business management under my belt. My job has been to set a goal, a timeframe, identify steps, solve problems, and reach that goal… actually not good enough…exceed that goal.

I’ve practiced it, done it, coached it, lived it. It has served me in many areas. It helps me win at work, clean my house lightning fast, organize a birthday party, and fit in all the pieces of my busy life.

But it has been a thorn in the side of my creative being. My heart and soul work in music is suffering. And I don’t think it serves me well as a parent much of the time either (read: occasionally control freaking on my kids.) So it’s time to find some balance.

What does it mean to be process driven? I’m not talking about the strict definition of this term from the corporate world.

I’m talking about revelling in the process instead of constantly stressing about outcome.

I’m talking about sipping the process slowly from a hot mug of tea, letting the steam rise up and fill my nostrils with the aroma of my progression.

I’m talking about forgiving myself for rambling and lollygagging and picking flowers on my way to somewhere.

Where I have lashed myself for not moving fast enough in the past, I can instead study my own hesitations with interest and intrigue. I can notice my mind and its questions, and I can be attentive and inquisitive. I can follow happiness into the forest, and even the fridge. I can get messy. I can go without a deadline. I can grab a lifeline instead… a rope that leads me more deeply into myself.

No matter which way you approach it, the result is still a natural outcome of the process. Rush the process, get a less than desirable result. Leave your heart out of the journey, get an outcome that lacks depth. Allow the process to induce learning and growth, end up with a bounty of good stuff.

Likely most of the great albums I’ve played through the stereo and all of the stunning visual works I’ve wandered with my eyes were done with no finish line, no date of completion. Each of them was a study–a story–not a numerical target with a measurable timeline.

Have you been thinking too much about your far off achievements and forgotten to be present, probing and playful?

Society tells you that you’ll be happy if you can just get THERE.

But happy is here, sister. It’s a firefly flitting through the long grass on a summer night and all you have to do is feel each step as you follow the light.

So today (as a test, I think) someone asked me when my new songs were coming out. I felt a moment of pressure, of needing an answer for her and for myself. Then I pivoted. I responded that I would be workshopping them this fall. I’m going to be breathing, letting them lead me, guide me and please me…undoing them and rebuilding them just to break them back down. And when the music tells me it has grown enough, when it has aged and matured, I’ll release it.

And it made me so damned happy to say that.

 

natalie aug2011headshotNatalie Hughes, editor, writer, performer and songwriter, is a gifted interpreter of the human experience, expressing passion, humor, heartbreak, healing and freedom to a depth that few writers reach. Natalie is also the Musical Director for Crystal Andrus Productions, providing music for short films, international speaking engagements, and powerful meditations. Hear her in music and conversation weekly as the co-host on Empowerment Class and The Crystal Andrus Show. Natalie lives along the picturesque waterways of Peterborough, Canada with her husband – photographer Michael Hurcomb – and her two children. For more, visit nataliehughes.com and find Natalie on iTunes,  Twitter and Facebook.

 

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