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A Shero’s Journey By Shanti SunFire Shaharazade

By on May 12, 2014
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A Shero’s Journey  By Shanti SunFire Shaharazade

I feel the ardor of Shakti energy burgeoning along every nuance of my being, one exquisite flick at a time building into a crescendo of deep blue fire.

I, with all of my being asked Source to be of service, not just a job, my purpose, I held my arms outstretched to universe, heart open, raw, trusting, and unafraid. I began manifesting my niche and a new ‘level’ of Soul College began when during this winter I conducted a secret experiment.

I wanted to see what would happen if I surrendered to fear.

That which we resist, persists, so it was time to excavate.  The seeds planted in the fertile terrain of my spirit led to my investigation.  No anticipated outcomes, no opinions, just a curiously observational endeavor, a scientific expedition into Shanti’s inferno.

I had been fighting and hiding from fear for most of my life, a constant companion so I was seriously ready for a trial separation.  I readied myself, the weather outside frightful indeed, inside mostly warm and cozy, ignoring the tempestuous weather blustering on the other side of my door and in my humble goddess space, I began.

Panic and fear reached their shadowy tendrils round my throat time and time again and I…

Let it come… and let it go.

I “Nestle” plunged right into the fear.  Literally saw myself playing the trust game and falling backwards into Source’s arms.  If universe truly has my back and wants nothing more than my joy and success then how could I lose?

At first I could feel fear choking the crap out of me and in that moment I began to make tiny choices.  I loosened my muscles one by one, literally. I chose to lean intentionally into the fear, deep breathing and relaxing my shoulders time and time again. I reminded myself to breathe, and confronted my fears regarding death.   I began to slowly surrender to fear’s dialogue.

I didn’t die.  

Although to be honest, the first few times I allowed myself to feel, I did think I was checking out.  I began to notice that the duration of the anxiety/panic/DETOXING from fear episodes, began to diminish. Fear and I had an overdue, long dialogue and apparently that was all it took.

As I left Taunton, approximately 3 weeks ago, embarking on the first leg of my journey into the ‘boot camp’ prelude of my ‘book’ … ‘my life’s journey’, entering what was most definitely NOT my comfort zone… SANS panic attacks AND anti-anxiety meds (yup, weaned myself off this winter).  I would stop, tap my chest, check for a heartbeat and then commence.  NOTHING, nada, zilch, not one anxiety or panic attack…<grins> yup the golden nuggets of Shanti’s inferno was freedom from the fear of fear.

Flicks lighter on and has a moment of silence for the panic attacks because haven’t had one in ages.  I now lean into the fear and it PASSES!

Change no matter positive or negative is still change.  We become accustomed to our ‘levels’ of existence and may sometimes forget that life is about change, ebbs and flows.  We are remembering.

I get it now; I deeply understand that we are indeed one with source. When I opened my arms to universe in surrender, I was not aware of just how sincere my spirit is/was, and how much intention MATTERS when manifesting.  I did NOT anticipate how quickly the road would form, leading me directly to the fruition of my dreams and desires.

It is with incredible clarity that I am able to see how what I would have once perceived as earth shattering and soul rendering is now revered as clues, magnificently placed arrows and blinking lights leading me to the excavation of my authentic self… the remembrance.   

I am so in love with my highly sensitive soul, understanding that my feelings, indeed so very powerful, are attributes of the highest order on this journey, my guidance system.  It is the little understood sensitivity that powerfully and QUICKLY manifests our true dreams and desires.., may I just say BOOYAH!!!!

That being said, the last two weeks have been pretty much a condensed spiritual boot camp… I mean holy shiznit!!! So I know without ANY doubt … really, sans ANY doubt… that me arse is being pulled back for a succulent, primal launch into the highest expression of ME, being of service, existing in joy… luminosity in action.

Really quite a lip-biting epiphany, and here I thought I was going to write about feeling sad about leaving my children and grandchildren, and I am … in a huge way, but then there is the beautiful realization that I am breaking chains and it may impact future generations.  I got this.  Not even sure how i know it, but I do.  I think I’ve reached the place where the energy I’m tapping into is not from my human self at all.  I think for this one moment in time <that’s all we can control> I am tango’ing with source, and I have to say … this is a hellova place to be.  I’m blessed.

 

Surrender—check check

Stay tuned for the next chapter: “Blossoming”

 

10327305_10202829839119606_1654685835_nShanti SunFire Shaharazade is a light-worker, writer and advocate for young women, Shanti SunFire Shaharazade helps others primarily by example.  Shining her light as strongly as possible while facing the challenges a human existence she sets a strong standard for courage, and simple BADassery. Originally from New York City, currently in Massachusetts and following her joy out into the world, she  has set her goals on creating villages that will raise ‘children’ that do not give up, and recognize that they too have choices.  To find out more about Shanti SunFire Shaharazade, you may visit her blog at breakingchains-renovationofmytemple.blogspot.com, view her brand new vlog at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiRzPxqn8w and check out her newly created page for young women at https://www.facebook.com/BreakingChainsofOppression?ref=hl.

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