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Self talk, friend or foe?

By on March 28, 2014
friendorfoe

By Darcy Lubow

Waking up to the voices in my head before the alarm goes off can be unpleasant.

The stream of thoughts, potential worries, and demands for the day ahead are incessant and energized already. The energy of these unpleasantries has left my motivation to greet the demands and worries deflated. All this and my eyes are barely open!

As I take my time, stretching and settling into my body, the thoughts turn from subtle threats and mild manipulation to flat out bullying. “Time to get up,” “if you’re late, they’ll be mad,” “now you’re just being lazy, you got plenty of rest” Do any of these morning wake up thoughts sound familiar? I don’t know about you but I don’t enjoy beginning my day with someone like this. Whatever happened to “good morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?”

The incredible part is, some days I listen to these thoughts. If someone came into my room and started criticizing me the way the thoughts in my head do, I would ask them to leave. Maybe not so kindly, either. I would see how untrue their messages were. I would see through the bully into someone who is scared and doesn’t know how to ask for what they need in any other way.

So why, I wonder, do I take the not so nice commentary from my inner bully? Some habits go unquestioned and just become routine.

Believing and following the thoughts that go through your mind might be one of your ingrained habits, too. Beginning to notice the thoughts leading to the actions I take creates room for empowerment choice. Being a victim to the thoughts and beliefs in my mind is no fun. Noticing when I have a mean and nasty message in the forefront provides an opportunity to slow down and assess if this is something I really want to perpetuate. Would I take this guidance, direction, or criticism from someone outside of me? Would I say this to someone I love? If not, then why am I giving it power and control in me? Why do I say it to myself?

Waking up to the way we speak to ourselves can change the way we live.

Take a time out now and checking in with your thoughts. Are you speaking with gentle encouragement to yourself about yourself? Is there a positive regard in the tone of your thoughts, both about your self and your life? Or is judgment streaming through? How does it feel in your body when you think these thoughts? When I speak kindly to myself, I feel better physically, I have more tolerance for the people around me, I am aligned with the truth that I am supported by life. When I speak to myself with judgment and criticism, I want to get as far away from myself as possible. I have decided that I want to be someone I want to spend time with. Choosing thoughts that are loving and accepting feels good. By giving myself the encouragement and patience I share with those I love, I become great company. This is much more appealing that being dragged through my day by the leash of inner criticism.

Do you want to enjoy your company more often? To feel better? To have a clean, clear and inspiring mental environment?  A few times throughout the day, take a mini break and check in with your thinking. Choose to be kind, to be honest, to be loving. If thoughts come that don’t feel good, choose new ones! If you wouldn’t say something to your niece or nephew, it likely isn’t something you want to keep saying to yourself. This practice is a simple and effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and create new habits. Regardless of what the mental chatter has been so far, consider this to press the refresh button and start over!

Here’s to waking up with a smile.

In the flow,

Darcy

1480625_242986645868493_2074589067_nDarcy Lubow is a natural guide. She helps lead people through the dark forests of the mind to a place of serenity. Darcy is a certified yoga instructor, a coach, a SoulCollage(TM) facilitator, a motivational speaker and a Masters in Counseling Psychology candidate. She lives with her beloved dog, Duffy, in Northern California.  Darcy feels most alive when she is creating, loving, learning and laughing. She fills her life with love: practicing yoga, taking photographs and walking down new streets in the “same old neighborhoods”. www.darcylubow.com

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