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Once upon a time there was a moment.

By on January 3, 2017
time waits for no one

By Marilee Arthur

Once upon a time there was a moment. That six letter word that seems so elegant when it rolls off your tongue, and then suddenly somewhere in the future, shifts without notice or indication, and leaves us feeling fragile, confused, and injured. Moments are both powerful and transformative.

A moment by itself may have a particular importance, influence or significance, or it may mean nothing at all.  But one thing we can be certain of; we choose the meaning of each and every moment we participate in.  A moment has the potential to create a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual response within us. Moments often have an accompanying thought, emotion, or emotions, a belief, and we refer to this as an experience. Our collection of personal moments, become the building material we use to create our story.

Experts suggest that most of us have five or six defining moments that shape our lives, and these few moments seem to form and inform all the other moments. They become the defining experiences, not because they are, but because we choose to believe they are.

What’s not surprising is that we seem to gravitate to the hand full of moments that were our most painful ones, where we felt wounded, betrayed by family and the world.  We spend so much time focusing on these instances, that we abandon the happy and successful ones. When we practice remembering only the difficult and painful times, we strengthen those thoughts and our uplifting and successful moments become weak and distant
memories.

Why do we choose to define ourselves by our worst moments?  When we focus our thoughts and speak from this dark place, others also begin to define us by those same moments. In an effort to escape this judgment, we find ourselves endeavoring to create different ones that work to redeem us from our past. We see our history as something ugly and shameful, and emotionally we begin to disconnect ourselves from parts of our story.

Most of the moments that have impacted us in negative ways, we did not choose. These are moments that came at us, to us , or through us, and in these moments we began to feel like a victim, because if it had been up to us, we would have never chosen those moments. 

Our story is comprised of many moments.  Stories are not intended to be perfect and every chapter is sure to be filled with scary, successful, thoughtful and reflective moments, as well as learning and inspiring moments. Grafted into each moment is usable material that will help to strengthen us, teach us, refine us, grow us, challenge us, and uplift us. Moments should not be seen as good or bad, but training experiences in the apprenticeship program called Your Life.

A moment is assigned a meaning at its conception. Our interpretation plays a large role in what context we place around the details of that moment, and those factors don’t necessarily reflect the truth. Our personal definitions around the understanding of love, the experiences stored in our emotional library, as well as our programmed and practiced beliefs all factor into the final conclusion and meaning we bring to a moment.

Perhaps the most compelling bit of information is the transient nature of a meaning.  A moment is only as significant as the meaning we choose to give to it. As the owner of your own personal experiences, you have the power to change a meaning, its influence and its power.

Now your feelings may argue that an emotional debt has occurred in one of your painful moments, and the guards of your heart may seem unwilling to negotiate around new meanings. Consider a cerebral gathering where the prominent and most influential members of your emotional board are represented. Ask fear, anger, disappointment, and betrayal how the debt might be repaid, or if the debt can be repaid.  Try to reason with bitterness, and help her to understand that every person is always doing the best they can, with what they have. To expect more, is much like insisting that someone speak fluent German after one language lesson. We can only know, what we know, and we operate from that place of knowing. The Will is a strong and defining energy, and often tries to bully his way and his beliefs into every outcome. But give your spirit a chance to defend the honor of peace and the gift of forgiveness.

Explore the possibilities of what a new meaning in an old moment might bring to essence of your life. The burden of dark and painful meanings will exhaust not only your passion for life, but your physical capability to thrive and embrace all you were created to be. We can stubbornly cling to crusty, old interpretations and this will dampen our potential to live with incredible purpose. Because there will come a day when you must determine whether you will be defined by the moments that happened to you, or whether you will choose the moments that define who you truly are.

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marilee-hs-2bMarilee Arthur, has been inspiring people to move, get physically and emotionally fit for more than three decades.  She is the owner of Evidence of Change, a coaching organization that has but one mandate. Whatever you pursue in your life, let there be evidence of change. Intentional and purposeful evidence that leaves a moment better than you found it.

Her love for leading people to a better place is motivated and supported by her extensive training as an Emotional Fitness Coach, Group Exercise Leader and Personal Trainer. Her role as a Professional Counselor has inspired the
creation of her reading workbook, called Loveless2Loved. A work she says inspires all of us to improve our definition of love.

She guides individuals and small groups through the process of remembering who they really are. Using some of her signature tools, clients are able to identify areas of emotional contamination, toxic mental programming, restore truthful meanings to the moments in their story, and ultimately shift from victim to creator of their best life.

Among her career milestones, she has managed high-profile health and fitness facilities in both the corporate and public sectors. The owner and choreographer of the ever popular dance fitness program, Jamin’Cardio. Appeared in dozens of fitness videos and is a former Corporate Teams Champion, successfully competing in the Canadian National Aerobics Championship and has functioned as a top-level coach/choreographer in the sport.

Her resume includes several TV appearances and magazine coverage, including features in Canadian Fitness Magazine, The Toronto Sun, Readers Digest, and Chatelaine Magazine. She is an acknowledged health and fitness writer, and mother of two; grandmother of two.

www.evidenceofchange.com

 

 

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