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New! What to do if the magic has faded

By on January 17, 2016
Buddha US

Written by Arielle Ford

Has the magic faded from your relationship?

Have you had your feelings hurt so often that you’re beginning to question why you’re even together?

When you met the man of your dreams, you had such aspirations for how your life would be together. Maybe you imagined living in an endless blissful state of romantic dinners, adventure-packed vacations, and daily affirmations of love.

But perhaps reality has not quite lined up with your expectations.

Sure, there’s many good moments, but there’s also bickering, snide comments and even occasional feelings of loneliness and rejection.

What happened?

Wasn’t he supposed to be your soulmate?

Aren’t soulmates supposed to understand each other, support each other and know what the other needs to feel totally and completely loved and accepted??

I thought so, but I was wrong.

Before you begin to think you’ve made a horrible mistake and decide you want to break up, get divorced, move on, or end your search for your soulmate, I want to reveal something important about my own personal love story.

I also want to assure you that finding your soulmate and having good relationship skills are two completely different things. If you’re having challenges in love, there’s no reason to think you’ve ended up with the wrong person. There’s a way to get the magic back and turn your “mate” back into your “soulmate”, and you’ll find out how in a bit.

But first, my own tumultuous love story:

I’ve been married to my soulmate Brian for 17 years this year. It’s a deeply loving and fulfilling partnership today, but it wasn’t always that way! The first few years after we were married, I realized I had zero partnership skills.

After decades working as a successful publicist and entrepreneur, I had great “boss” skills, but that didn’t transfer too well in the marriage department. The end result of this was a lot of unintentional insults, tiresome bickering and frustration between Brian and me.

I would make plans for the both of us…and end up angering Brian because he wanted to be consulted first.

I would get caught up in emails and my own thoughts and made Brian feel unheard and unloved because I couldn’t look him in the eye when he spoke to me.

I thought I was being pro-active, and he thought I was overbearing.

I thought I was being creative and productive, and he thought I was distracted and a workaholic.

These are just a couple small examples of the kind of misunderstandings that were threatening the happiness of our marriage.

Having gotten married at the age of 44, I had become very used to having things my way, all the time. And it never occurred to me that Brian would want anything different from what I wanted.  It never occurred to me that we wouldn’t always see things “eye to eye”.

After all, weren’t we soulmates?

Weren’t we destined to easily and effortlessly live “happily ever after?”

Brian already seemed to naturally know how to make me feel heard, loved and respected.

It became obvious that I was the one who needed to discover new, better ways to listen, to communicate, to be considerate, and most importantly, to become a team player.

Sure, I had figured out how to experience the once-in-a-lifetime joy of finding my soulmate, but now I had to learn how to make my relationship thrive and grow into a joyous and sacred union.

I had to take personal responsibility for the success and longevity of my relationship.

Brian and I attended workshops and seminars, but what made the biggest difference was that I spent more than 130 hours interviewing the world’s top love and relationship experts for Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love Series that I co-created and hosted for several years – many of them top researchers and social scientists who virtually never do interviews such as these…

Many of these experts became friends, and spent hours answering my endless questions and forever changing my understanding of love and how to make it last.

The result of these years of study (and personally road testing the various techniques and strategies to a happy marriage), are that Brian and I have grown closer and closer and are enjoying the best years of our marriage so far.

I knew that I wasn’t the only one going through these challenges, and I knew I absolutely had to share everything I learned so that others in the same situation could know that there’s HOPE for “happily ever after.”

This is why I decided to write down everything I learned and mastered in the last decade or so. The result is my latest (and in my opinion, most important) book:

Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate:
A Practical Guide To Happily Ever After

This comprehensive book reveals and explores the best advice, techniques and tips on how to handle everything from everyday squabbles and misunderstandings to the bigger problems that can ruin love and affection.

It will show you WHY you may be butting heads or unintentionally hurting each other, and give you practical, easy strategies that will ease tension and bring you and your partner closer than ever.

You’ll learn valuable tools such as:

  • How to ask for what you want and make him feel like a hero while you feel loved, adored and cherished (actual scripts and words that will work their magic every time).
  • What you can say to your man that will make him fall even crazier in love with you, and it’s probably already something you’re already thinking – you just need to express it the right way.
  • What he wants even more than sex (when you read this you may just fall out of your chair. I know I just about did!)
  • How our desire to be “right” is getting in the way of being loved, and what to do about it and feel happy and loved instead.
  • Why your partner maybe isn’t great at gift-giving or expressing his affection or being tender with touch – and why you shouldn’t worry about the depth of his love for you. How to understand and reciprocate his “love language”.
  • How a shift in perception can positively alter the course of your relationship and even the direction of your entire life.
  • The different types of soulmates, and how to know if your partner is the one with the expiration date.
  • How to get the spark back and kick up the fun, starting tonight.
  • And much more!

If you’re starting to feel disappointed and disillusioned about your soulmate relationship, don’t despair! All you need is the tools and strategies you’ll learn in my book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate: A Practical Guide To Happily Ever After to turn it all around.

Starting today, you can begin to enjoy the kind of easy, blissful union you always knew was possible, and always hoped you’d have with the love of your life.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

arieArielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the international bestseller THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest the Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction.

The Soulmate Secret has led thousands of men and women, around the world, to attract their ideal life parter. Arielle lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband, Brian Hilliard. Please find her at www.facebook.com/soulmatesecret  and www.soulmatesecret.com 

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