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natalie hughes: loving the house I'm in

By on November 25, 2013
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“If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”

Maybe Stephen Stills was on to something there.

At first listen, the thought of that tag-line lyric is kind of awful, like “Well, there’s the woman you ACTUALLY love over there, but she’s not having it/not available so may as well take second-best-lady.”

But I thought of this song while sorting out a different issue this week, and whether good or bad, it’s been playing in my head ever since. Being a songwriter, I often match up songs to my thoughts, whether they are my own or someone else’s. I guess it is how I make sense of the world around me and inside me. Just indulge me for a moment:

I’ve been obsessing about selling our house. It’s a perfectly good house, only a few years old, plenty roomy, nice neighbourhood, but there are lots of things I would change, like…

…our close proximity to our neighbours (any of you in a new subdivision development will likely be in the same boat.. only a few feet of room between us feels a little, um, close);

…our walkout basement (it sounds lovely but our kitchen is 10 feet off the ground and we look down into every neighbour’s yard on the whole block, and they into ours);

…I always wanted a white kitchen and this one has dark wood;

…there’s not enough closet space in our bedroom.

Oh, you know, the list goes on. So what’s happened is, I’m not making the best of it. It is decorated nicely, but it’s not exactly the way I’d like it because I’ve stopped investing time in it. I’m checked out. I’m already thinking about being somewhere else.

And it dawns on me… this is not the only place in my life where I’ve done this. Always wanting the next career move and not being invested in the current one enough. I’m waiting for other moments, other things and other people and not investing in the opportunities I’ve created once they arrived.

Maybe what Mr. Stills was actually saying was in infinite wisdom… he’s a guru, a visionary in this lyric. The words speak to me like they are coming from my my own inner guidance system.

 

You don’t have to wait for love.

LOVE IS EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE.

It’s gazing at you, smiling, waiting for you to notice it while you stare off blankly into space wishing for more love, different love, exciting love, titillating love. You grow it each moment that you attend to it. Your home, your marriage, your friendships and your career all contain happiness and joy and contentment in their exact state. Be with them.

I have got to stand where I stand and make the absolute best of it. I’ve got to enjoy living here… it’s the only here I’ve got (and as you know, I’m on a constant quest for happiness.) I’ve got enjoy every article written here, every song sung, every smile my husband shoots me across our desks, every evening my child wants to sit in the dining room and chat my ear off. I’ve got to paint and decorate, allow the home to reflect our family and take risks. I’ve got to install closet organizers and put love in every corner. I have to live in gratefulness for such a beautiful place to reside each day.

Another home may come, but if I can’t have the house of my dreams, honey, I’m going to love the one I’m in.

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(P.S. Here’s a Stephen Stills song moment to get you in the mood for what you’re about to go and love.)

 

In happiness,

Natalie

natalie aug2011headshotNatalie Hughes, editor, writer, performer and songwriter, is a gifted interpreter of the human experience, expressing passion, humor, heartbreak, healing and freedom to a depth that few writers reach. Natalie is also the Musical Director for Crystal Andrus Productions, providing music for short films, international speaking engagements, and powerful meditations. Hear her in music and conversation weekly as the co-host on The Crystal Andrus Show. Natalie lives along the picturesque waterways of Peterborough, Canada with her husband – photographer Michael Hurcomb – and her two children. For more, visit nataliehughes.com and find Natalie on iTunes,  Twitter and Facebook.

 

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