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How the Pessimistic Woman Manifests Her Dream Life

By on June 27, 2017
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By Tamara Rokicki

For women, pessimism tends to be a crushing factor in manifesting our reality. Juggling family expectations, career goals, and maintaining balance in relationships seems like a heavy expectation on the female gender. This leads to low expectations and negative thought patterns.

Life coaches, energy workers, and spiritual counselors all agree on one thing: shifting your negative thoughts into positive ones creates higher vibrations. Higher vibrations lead to designing the life you want, fulfilling your wildest dreams, becoming the best version of yourself, and literally living your dream life.

This is great food for thought but for women like me, pessimistic by nature, it’s not that easy to digest. It makes sense that positive attitudes go a long way in creating a great life. But how do you change negative thoughts when they’ve been living in your head an entire lifetime?

We live our lives by following careful patterns. We respond to feelings and thoughts we are familiar with, even if they are downright nasty. It’s easier to confront the usual “Why should I ask for a raise? I won’t get it anyway.” As pessimists, we expect negative outcomes in order to safeguard ourselves against rejection.

Expecting rejection or disappointment may seem like a safe bet, but in reality, it’s setting you up for failure. You are one step away from designing the life you want, but you and only you, are standing in the way. So how do you manifest positive vibes and shift your life from mediocre to fantastic?

Start small: You don’t need to manifest a free trip to Europe, at least not yet. Pessimistic minds aren’t used to self-kindness and positive thoughts. If you jump into the ice cold ocean of perkiness overload, you will paddle yourself to shore where it’s safe. Instead, dip your toes into the small puddle of positive waters.

Begin by changing little things about your day. You may not look forward to your next dental cleaning but change your “They’ll tell me I’ll need a filling,” to “I keep my oral health in great shape and it will pay off in the long run.”

Shifting your thoughts to positive vibes isn’t a guarantee or a special formula against unpleasant results. It’s meant to raise your vibes and reframe your mind one thought at a time. You’ll be amazed how changing small thoughts can lead to a better life.

Give yourself permission to be positive: Many women engage in negative thoughts because they don’t think they deserve great outcomes. In the past I’ve had these types of thoughts, “He’s cute but he won’t date someone like me.”

I justified my negative though as a way to manage my expectations. But deep down inside, I really believed that I wasn’t ‘enough’ for the guy I wanted to date. The problem didn’t stem from self-protection. It began with the belief of not deserving to be loved just for who I was.

Giving yourself permission to receive blessings, promotions, love, lucky breaks or whatever you want to call it, translates to “I deserve to be happy!” And you do.

Be grateful: Did you notice that pessimists aren’t grateful for much? Instead of focusing on the great things life offers, they ruminate about their flat tire or how turning forty is ruining their lives. If you’re not thankful for the things you receive in life, small or big, then you’ll keep receiving what you expect: trials and tribulations.

Lucky breaks aren’t really lucky. There’s a certain amount of work that goes behind the mechanism of something working out. The largest gear that puts luck into motion is thankfulness. The more grateful you are, the more you’ll focus on the positive. Focusing on the positive will yield more luck, opportunities, and blessings.

Pessimistic minds like to grumble. They’re wired to wallow in self-pity, point out the negative in life, or expect life to be difficult. They believe “when I win the lotto, THEN I’ll be positive!” or “If I find the man of my dream, THEN I’ll be happy.”

What if you we choose to be happy NOW? What if we say “I have enough to pay my bills. I have it better than a lot of people, “or “I’m loving the single life. I get to learn about myself and do things my way.”

So, as a pessimist, you’re asking yourself: will changing my thoughts really improve my life? Yes, it will. I am an ex-pessimist and it took one year to change a lifetime of cynicism. It took small changes at first and now I am living a completely different life. I have hopes, expectations of greatness, and I’m living my ideal life.

I wanted to be an author all of my life. But pessimism stood in my way, under the false hope of protection. Playing it safe and working a ‘sensible’ job was easier than being rejected for being creative.

I pushed aside my dreams because I thought I wasn’t talented enough or that I needed to get an English college degree. I turned bitter against the things life was giving me. Bills, broken relationships, and low self-esteem.

Then I decided that I had enough of living a mediocre life. I changed my negative thoughts and forced them to become my loudest cheerleaders. I took “I won’t be able to write twenty thousand words,” and turned it into an entire novel now sitting at the desk of my editor, readying to publish this fall.

Nothing is stopping you from achieving the same goals and dreams. Are you ready to live the life you deserve?

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Tamara Rokicki PictureTamara Rokicki is a YA Fantasy author launching her book series THE ASHAR PROPHECIES in the fall of 2017.

Originally from Italy, she now resides in sunny Tampa, Florida. Tamara has been a storyteller all of her life. During the formative years, she used writing as a form of self-therapy, losing herself in a magical world where she created happiness through the written word. As she grew older, her artistic calling beckoned her to live a creative life.

She has published articles for several local publications, contributed as a columnist for online magazines and spread her wings as an acquisition editor.

www.TamaraRokicki.com
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