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How Christmas Shopping Represents Your Life!

By on December 9, 2016
SW Shopping

By Crystal Andrus Morissette

I was at Winner’s the other day doing a little Christmas shopping when a stranger told me she was amazed how quickly I made decisions about what to buy.

I laughed, wondering why a stranger was paying attention to how I chose my purchases.

She went on: “I just watched you walk down the aisle, pick up those two, huge, gold ornate candlesticks; you looked at the price tag and instantly put them into your shopping cart. That was incredible!”

Incredible?

Hmmm…

All I was thinking was why is this woman watching me shop?

But she didn’t stop there: “I can’t make a decision that fast. I will see something I like. I’ll hold it in my hands for a few moments. Then I always put it down and walk around the store to think about it. I’ll even go home or to other stores to see if I can find something similar for a better price. Usually, when I come back to buy it, it’s gone.”

We laughed and talked a bit longer. I explained, ‘When I know, I know! No amount of time is going to help me know what I like or what I think someone else will like. Besides, you can always put it in your cart, walk around thinking about it, knowing it’s yours, and if you really don’t love it, you can put it back.’

She was seriously ‘amazed’ at this simple advice: When you see what you want, take it! You can always put it back.

After I left the store it got me thinking about how I shop—for ‘everything’ . . . not just Christmas presents. I make almost every decision in my life this quickly. Now. It’s a gut instinct. Yes or no. I feel it. I trust it. I take action.

In fact, I bought the very first wedding dress I tried on!

It’s true! I knew what I wanted, I explained my ‘ideal dress’ to the staff, and they were able to find it for me within minutes. No wasting time. No second-guessing. No wondering if I should have chosen differently.

I tried it on, loved it, and bought it.

The whole experience lasted no longer than 30 minutes. Trust me, both my daughters were with me when the sales lady told them I was the most empowered bride she’d ever met! I didn’t need friends or loved ones to tell me how I felt in the dress. I simply needed to trust myself.

And the truth is, it is empowering to know what you like and to choose it. Swiftly. Confidently. Effortlessly . . . and to not second-guess yourself. And it’s certainly not just about gifts, although Christmas shopping is a powerful reflection on how you live your life.

What does your holiday practice and patterns tell you about you? About your life?

Perhaps you feel similarly to the woman I met in Winners, afraid to make the wrong decision? You overthink. You mistrust your Self. You waste time. Maybe you even buy things you don’t like or attend parties you don’t want to go to. You don’t listen to your inner ‘traffic light’:

Red Light: Stop. No. Put it down. Walk away now.
Yellow Light: Proceed with caution. Buyer beware. Do your due diligence.
Green Light: Go. Yes. Take action now. You got this.

The great news is we all have the ability to know and do what is right for us. What is best for us. What works for us. We know. You know, too!

And when we don’t do ‘what we know’, we start to lose our ability to make decisions swiftly and effortlessly. We give away our power. Over time, we find ourselves stuck! Unsure what to do. Afraid to trust our instincts.

Again, I remind you, Christmas shopping is just an example of how you live your life!

I can honestly tell you I feel very little stress around Christmas now (although it wasn’t always this way). I only visit with those who light me up. I only buy gifts for a small circle of loved ones. I only invite those to my home who give me that warm, fuzzy, Christmas spirit glow! And I love almost every moment of the holiday season.

Believe me, this is a massive change from the old me who bought presents for everyone in my entire family; people I only saw once a year — at Christmas — because we had to. Because ‘everyone did’. Because we were taught to. Because it was expected. And because presents mattered most.

It was a great big huge fake hoopla. You just knew ‘everyone’ was stressed out and pretending. No one could afford it. Most of us didn’t even ‘like’ each other. I cried a lot afterwards. I worried a lot before. I never knew what to buy anyone. I hated the pressure. Mean things were always said because that’s just the way my type-A family communicates. Fake. Belittling. Pretentious.

My feelings were always hurt which meant I had to work had to not feel because ‘feeling’ never felt good.

I just wanted to get December over and done with, and that included my birthday on December 11th, as well. Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas! Oh God, get it all over with fast!

What a horrible way to approach such a beautifully loving, spiritual, and magical time of year! Right?

The good news is that I changed. I started to feel my feelings and trust my vibe. I started to say no. A lot. I found a sense of freedom I didn’t know possible. I set boundaries. Healthy ones. And I’ve maintained them.

You too have an internal compass continually pointing you toward your true Self, and away from things that will take you out of alignment. When you allow yourself to “feel your feelings” rather than numb, deny, or escape them, you too can access your inner GPS easily and effortlessly.

For years. I’ve taught my clients the difference between a feeling and an emotion. A feeling is simply a visceral reaction to an outside stimulus. It has no thought. It has no judgment. It is not right or wrong. It simply is, happening here and now. It has no attachment or connection to the past or future. It isn’t angry, sad, or happy; it just is—a sign, an instantaneous sensation within your body—it is your “gut instinct.”

This feels expansive, empowering or strong . . . true = green light.
This feels contracting, disempowering, or weak . . . false = red light.

A feeling moves quickly and doesn’t linger. Feeling your feelings is mandatory if you want to be empowered! The secret is learning how to feel a feeling without becoming it.

Emotions are different from feelings. Emotions have the added component of thought. When we react to a feeling we begin telling ourselves a story about it; we attach a belief to it.

Our beliefs are created by our view of the world. Beliefs create emotions. Emotions create chemical reactions within the body—almost instantaneously. Chemicals are addictive. We get addicted to our drama, indecision, and problems. We are addicted to our family patterns, too.

Often an interaction can begin to break down when people allow their emotions into the driver’s seat. Before you know it, your “gut instinct”—a simple feeling designed to move you in the right direction—has turned into an uncomfortable exchange triggered by your emotional baggage and self-limiting beliefs. The healthier you are (meaning you’ve healed your triggers), the easier managing your emotions will be.

If you want to get really good at knowing what is RIGHT FOR YOU, try this homework tip:

Practice checking in with your internal GPS throughout the day by asking yourself, “What do I feel right now?” Be an observer of your emotions rather than a judge. Witness them without reacting. Feel your feelings without trying to numb or solve them.

And remember, when tough times come, and they will, you do not need to get pulled down into a disempowered emotional place. Remind yourself: “This too shall pass…”

Happy Shopping!

 

perfectCrystal Andrus Morissette is a best-selling author and the founder of this magazine, SimplyWoman.com, as well as The S.W.A.T. Institute (Simply Woman Accredited Trainer)–an Empowerment Coach Certification school, exclusively for women. From life as a homeless teen to coaching A-List celebrities, from having abs of steel and the Miss Galaxy to weighing over 200 pounds after having babies, Emotional Age and Communication Expert Crystal Andrus Morissette is a worldwide leader in the field of self-discovery and personal transformation. A media darling, she has been featured numerous times on Oprah.com, the New York Post, Fox TV, the Daily Mail, CBS Radio, CTV, CityTV, Global TV, Slice TV, the Globe and Mail, and the Toronto Star. Crystal is the author of four best-selling books, including her latest release entitled, “The Emotional Edge: Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest.” She is also certified in nutrition and sports medicine.

 


 

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