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He can't be fixed

By on August 21, 2020
cant fix him

By: Pam Del Franco

When you are a successful and intelligent woman, and your relationships are crappy, they can’t be “fixed.”

At the end of the day, health, money, and lifestyle are all important. Still, they won’t mean as much if you don’t have healthy relationships with friends, family or partners. Those things won’t hold the same meaning for you if you’re wanting to find your love mate, save your marriage, or have a loving relationship and it seems that you’re not able to.

Maybe you’re in a bad relationship, and you’ve tried arguing, ignoring him, and sometimes even threaten to leave him, but none of it worked. He frequently goes out with his buddies to relax after work before coming home. Agrees to do something you asked, doesn’t do it, gives excuses why, and promises to do it next time. And a whole host of other frustrating behavior.

Or maybe you’re single because you can’t find a guy worth being with. But then you start dating, and he calls you at the last minute, expecting you to be available. After several dates and shared intimacy, he tells you he’s not ready for a relationship. Ugh.

So, here you are…wondering how an intelligent, successful, and independent woman can’t seem to be in more loving relationships with healthy boundaries. I’ve been there way too many times in the past. I know you, and I feel your pain.

Maybe you’re thinking something along the lines of, “I must be doing something to upset him, so I need to figure that out and fix it.” Or “My heart belongs to him, so I can’t help myself, even when he’s not being nice.” Maybe its’ something along the lines of “I need to be a more feminine type of woman.” (Cook more often, rub his back and be ready when he came home).

Those are your perceptions of what’s going on. They’ve been based on your past experiences, judgements, and bias (we all have them).

But what’s actually true is:

The only way to “fix” anyone is to change what’s not working within yourself. It’s not about being girly, sweet, or soft while wearing pink. It’s about embracing your womanhood…all the messy, complicated, and beautiful parts. It’s a beautiful thing to be in love, but only to the degree, you love yourself. Everything else is bordering on martyrdom, which is reserved for saints. (If you are in an abusive situation, please reach out to your local shelter, your call is confidential).

You can give your all, bend to his will or beg him to change, but it won’t happen until you do. Work on understanding the healing you need and be that women who has the empowering ripple effect on your children, grandchildren, and generations of women in your circle.

 

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PAM-JAN2019-resizedPam Del Franco is a Social Service Worker, Master Empowerment Coach, Author, and Psychic Medium. She’s studied the Laws of the Universe, dream interpretation, hypnotherapy and has over 30 years experience helping people like you.

Connect with her at: www.pamdelfranco.com | delfrancopam@gmail.com

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