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Fitness for the right reasons: Editor Natalie Hughes.

By on October 28, 2013
audrey leaves

Why am I doing this? Why suddenly jump into fitness.. why change my entire eating pattern? Is it just because I’m afraid of tiny PJ? (just kidding!-ha!) Is it because I care what people think or what my partner’s ideal for my figure is? Nope.

I look back at my history of weight fluctuation with a sense of humour, and of compassion, and of interest. I have come a long way, baby. My reasons for eating well and exercising have become so much more pure in spirit over the last quarter of a century (oh, that sounds so… old!) and I’m pretty grateful for my progress resulting from a deep, life-long inner search-and-rescue mission.

Here are the abridged but brutally honest benchmarks in my personal history that answer the question, “Why?”

at 16: to get a boyfriend. No one will love you unless you’re thin, you know. Body flaws are unacceptable. Cindy Crawford was the ideal at the time, on the cover of every magazine… and I identified with her because she was brunette and had a (very famous) mole. It was going to be ok to have a mole now.

at 19: for my wedding. Yes, I got married very young. (Didn’t work out, big surprise.) But gotta have those priorities straight and fit into that pretty white dress. Ignore all signs that the husband is not a fit, and cut those calories. Maybe I was in a hunger delusion.

at 22: to look like I should be in a band. I finally had a gig in a heavy band as a keyboard player and back-up vocalist, and, hey, this was before grunge hit big… big hair and spandex was still an expectation. Joined a gym, did aerobics and ate low-fat. Remember that certain weight-loss guru that used to yell,  “Fat makes you fat!”? I was like, ok, easy enough. But this can lead you down a path of high carb, high sugar… and that’s exactly what it did. I still lost weight, likely due to the increased physical work, but I was hungry all. the. time.

at 29: to lose the baby weight because other women are looking at me and they think I’ve really let myself go since my son was born. Plus I’m hitting the big 3-0 at this point with much fear and self-lashing. “You aren’t where you thought you would be, your career feels empty, the illusion of meaningful goals you had has been shattered and you aren’t doing what you love.” Personal crisis. Reign in the weight, try to look 22 again.

at 36: it’s effortless. I’ve had a great pregnancy and maternity leave with my daughter, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, connected to purpose, pursuing music, and the weight just falls off as I naturally make healthier choices.

Wait, that sounded pretty good. So what happened between that point and 3 weeks ago when I started the 6 Week shape Up, leading me away from a healthy, happy version of me? Fortunately, an undoing happened. I would say “unfortunately,” because it was awful, and hard, and took a long while to recover from, but I emerged so grounded and honest and true to myself that I know it was a gift. There are times where our identity and our confidence get torn down, because their foundations are not solid. No matter how pretty the structure looks, one little shakedown and you’re on the pavement. So 7 years later, my concrete is poured and my bricklaying is coming along.

at 43: for my health. My strength. My energy. I don’t want to feel sluggish. I value my life and I want it to last as long as possible. I have big things I want to do. I want to set a great example for my kids… and I want energy left for them after a long day. I desire health and happiness. I see that the movement of the beautiful limbs I’ve been given is a privilege. I feel how completely my energy is affected by what kind of fuel I put in my furnace. I want to spend more time outside smelling that fall-decay perfume.

And so I’m doing what I want. I’m in the pursuit of happiness.

And this time, I won’t be thin for you… I’ll be fit for me.

 

P.S. Catch my first 4 articles in this series about my 6 week journey:

First day

End of week 1

End of week 2

End of week 3

And meet my gurus, the Simply Woman featured Go Fit Gals at www.gofitgals.com

 

 

natalie_hughes_woodNatalie Hughes, editor, writer, performer and songwriter, is a gifted interpreter of the human experience, expressing passion, humor, heartbreak, healing and freedom to a depth that few writers reach. Natalie is also the Musical Director for Crystal Andrus Productions, providing music for short films, international speaking engagements, and powerful meditations. Hear her in music and conversation weekly as the co-host on Empowerment Class and The Crystal Andrus Show. Natalie lives along the picturesque waterways of Peterborough, Canada with her husband – photographer Michael Hurcomb – and her two children. For more, visit nataliehughes.com and find Natalie on iTunes,  Twitter and Facebook.

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