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Femininists: Owning Our Feminine Power in a Man's World

By on September 6, 2024

By Diane Thomassin

Alright everyone, how about a fresh take on feminism? Picture this: you’re at a concert enjoying the music and suddenly out of nowhere, a guy pushes his way to the front like he owns the place. So, you call him out for shoving you, and what does he do? He yells back even louder, like he’s auditioning for a role in “Entitled Guy: The Musical.” I thought to myself, “”Wow, your outburst was almost as impressive as your insecurity. Maybe next time, try using your inside voice and a little self-reflection.”

Welcome to feminism, where standing your ground means dealing with guys who think volume equals validity. Sometimes, it feels like you’re always fighting to keep your spot in a sea of pushy loudmouths. It’s a constant battle to hold your ground in a crowd of overpowering voices.

I’ve never labeled myself as a feminist. Don’t get me wrong, I fully support women’s rights and advocate for anyone who embraces being feminine. I like to think of myself as a “femininist.” Yes, you read that right, a femininist. I believe in celebrating our femininity, our softness, kindness, resilience and all those qualities that make us women, while still challenging the norms.

It seems that some feminists feel compelled to emulate a toxic man to be taken seriously in this world. While there may be some validity to that belief, I refuse to resort to macho posturing like grunting or pounding my chest just to prove my point. We can be strong and assertive without turning into the very thing we’re fighting against. Let’s show the world that kindness and strength can go hand in hand.

Women have had to toughen up and build resilience, no doubt about it. It often feels like a struggle. Sometimes we have to put on our armor. Let’s face it, standing up against toxic masculinity without being toxic ourselves is a challenge. It’s like trying to explain to a room full of mansplainers why you don’t need their help. Good luck with that!

When women assert themselves aggressively, they face being judged more harshly compared to men. If a man loses his temper, people may excuse it as passion.. If a woman does the same, she might be labeled difficult or dramatic. Don’t even get me started on the term “woke.” When did being aware become negative? When people allergic to progress highjacked the term “woke,” that’s when.

It’s crazy how behavior that’s totally fine for men gets us women side-eyed. It’s like we’re in this game where the rules keep changing, and we’re always one step behind. Can we still stand up for ourselves while keeping our beautiful female qualities like femininity, kindness, and softness? I believe we can. Why must we compromise our essence just to survive in this society?

What’s the deal with the notion that strength and kindness can’t coexist? Seriously, who came up with that? It’s not true. Some of the strongest people I know are also the most kind. It’s time we debunk that myth and show that you can be both fierce and kind-hearted. It takes real strength to be kind in a world that’s constantly trying to harden you.

Maybe it’s time to rethink what we mean by strength. It’s not about being all forceful and aggressive. Genuine strength involves resilience, compassion and understanding. It means knowing when to stand firm and when to let things go. It means staying authentic and true to yourself, despite social pressures.

We shouldn’t have to sacrifice our femininity in order to be taken seriously in this world. We shouldn’t have to mirror the toxic patriarchal behaviors we’re fighting against. We can embody strength and softness, fierceness and kindness all at the same time. It’s not about imitating toxic traits; it’s about transcending them.

Let’s think about embracing our femininity, our kindness, our softness. Let’s show the world that we can embody all these wonderful traits while still standing our ground. Feminists often face stereotypes. Lets challenge those stereotypes and show that strength and gentleness can harmoniously coexist. Let’s aspire to be “femininists.”

So, the next time someone calls you a bitch, a woke snowflake or arrogant for standing up yourself, just smile and say, “Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.” Asserting yourself with grace is something to be proud of. Embracing your softness and strength as a woman in today’s society? Now that’s truly something to celebrate.

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Diane Thomassin is a “femininist” writer from Ventura, California, who is on a mission to show that you can be soft and feminine, and still kick the patriarchy’s butt. Gracefully.

 

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