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Darcy Lubow: Dreaming the dream but losing steam.

By on November 26, 2013
day dream

By Darcy Lubow.

 

This has been one full year for me. While there has been a lot of change, the dreamer in me was dormant for a bit. Moving through major transitions and  finding myself in new ways through them all, I am grateful to say that I have resumed dreaming elaborately. Thank goodness for this! Through the ups and downs, I have prayed consistently, worked rigorously, released faithfully and shown up for recovery vigilantly. The path has been paved and I am walking it with dignity, respect, service, and more joy and peace than I could have anticipated. Dreams are taking shape: Reinvention + Recovery Coaching is developing, close friendships are being nurtured as new relationships are coming in, writing continues on projects that light me up, I am even leaving for an overseas adventure this week! There is nothing to worry about, everything is taken care of, life is good.

All great news. Right? Absolutely! Then why am I writing this you might be wondering? I have been graced with so many blessings. I am in a state of no problems. And I am feeling anxious. This trip has me so excited and tense all at once. I have the freedom to explore Thailand for a few weeks where I will be completing a yoga certification program. I am thrilled to be learning more about my body, mind and spirit so as to guide others in this intimate self-exploration. I have been linked with this community of kindred spirits and complete permission to unplug from business and technology. This is what I have wanted and it is here, and I am unsure how to be with it. To let in the dream come true.

Can you relate to any of this? Are there goals you’ve set only to lose steam as they are coming to fruition? Have you ever set yourself up for something fun, extravagant, meaningful only to arrive in the experience of being with it and unsure of how to really let it in? It’s almost as if the push to achieve takes the spotlight when the achievement itself is waiting in the shadows.

This is just silly, I know it is. Why work towards something and then not enjoy it?

I deserve to unwind, to let love in, to experience a dream come true. We all do. Anyone and everyone can tell me that it is more than appropriate to take time off and have an adventure, validate my choices and encourage me to enjoy what is. All the well meaning, uber loving, supportive and honest feedback from those around me is incredible (I thank you beloved friends + family!) As appreciated as it is, none of this love from others can make me relax into accepting and enjoying what is. I have to believe that I am safe in and worthy of living a life I love. It comes down to worthiness and trust, yet again.

This seems so daunting. I feel frustrated, anxious and guilty. None of these are states I want to stay in for very long. So, I’ve been asking, where do I go from here? I know what to do. My Inner Wisdom knows. The answers are in me, so now it’s just about letting them guide me.

Here are a few of the tips my Inner Wisdom gave me to try. The results have been stunning, as they often are when I take her lead.

Take off the filter: Find the feeling states (frustration, anxiety, guilt, etc.) and give them a voice. What do they have to get off their chest? Journaling with these feelings can reveal what is actually needing some extra attention inside. No filtering necessary, just let it out on paper! If you don’t feel comfortable keeping the pages around after, have a ritual and burn them in a fireplace or send them to the shredder with love.

Shake that tush: Yes, I grabbed the hula hoop and started swinging. Redirecting the frenetic energy from my head down to my body turned the state of disempowerment I was in into something completely different. I went from lethargic anxiety to playful aliveness in two minutes flat! My head was just full; this physical movement was just the release it needed.

Answer me this: Complete these statements with the experience being resisted in mind.

If I weren’t afraid, I would …

I hold back because …

What I need to feel worthy is …

How I can give this to myself is …

I can’t help but smile when …

One thing I am loving about myself is …

One thing I am loving about life is …

How I choose to feel in this moment of grace is …

Tap Tap Tap: Have you heard of EFT? The Emotional Freedom Technique has been a source of empowerment for me since hearing about it, learning it, then actually doing it. Whether on a walk with the dog, in traffic, or lying in bed at night, this simple tool brings me back to my Inner Wisdom (and this is a place I love to be). If you are ready for some relief and realignment, try tapping!

This was the formula: Taking a few minutes to be with myself, returning to the tools and techniques I have learned and used, daring to get honest about what is actually happening versus what my mind is concocting, nurturing the tender places within and sharing it with others. This was the result: I reconnected with the safe space within, peace returned, joy reignited and I even started packing my suitcase! I like this equation.

How will you get to the safe place where dreams can be lived without apology? As usual, I’m here for you + with you and excited to be embarking on this together. Here’s to dreaming the dreams and living them, too!

In the Flow and Taking Flight,

Darcy

 

DarcyLubowHeadshotDarcy Lubow is a natural guide. She helps lead people through the dark forests of the mind to a place of serenity. Darcy is a coach, a SoulCollage(TM) facilitator, a motivational speaker and a Masters in Counseling Psychology candidate. She lives with her beloved dog, Duffy, in Northern California.  Darcy feels most alive when she is creating, loving, learning and laughing. She fills her life with love: practicing yoga, taking photographs and walking down new streets in the “same old neighborhoods”. www.darcylubow.com

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