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Creative Discipline

By on May 25, 2013
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 Singer/Songwriter Natalie Hughes diagnoses one block to our creative energy.

Now, there are two words that appear to be an oxymoron: creative. discipline.

How can the freedom of creativity coexist within the boundary of discipline? What is this word, “discipline,” that has carried a negative tone in it for much of my life? The Webster’s dictionary traces the word from the Latin disciplina meaning, “teaching and learning.” However, for many of us the word has come to mean punishment and control.

After 11 years of an unfulfilling business career, I got the courage to leave and pursue my lifelong passion for music, feeling compelled to take a step into the unknown. I put my business sense to work, set out a detailed plan and truly believed that if I willed myself to practice several hours per day, to knock on the doors of the music industry on a weekly basis and to exercise regularly, I would reach my music career goals within a year. On the days where I followed my plan, I was satisfied and making progress! On other days, I felt unable to accomplish much and the more I told myself to “get up and work the plan,” the more “stuck” I became. I despised the lack of self discipline I was showing and soon I was at a standstill–creating very little and lacking the confidence to push forward.

What was going wrong? Why couldn’t I make myself work harder? If a perfectly written plan wasn’t enough, then what was the missing link?

I began to examine the people I know who get up each day and are passionately driven to dream, create and achieve. Discipline is present but never in question because they have a purpose and a quiet confidence that their work is vital. Now, a new thought began to emerge:

What if self discipline is really, in fact, a pure and beautiful thing… a loving and powerful force that fuels the fire of creativity instead of robbing us of oxygen?

What I have now come to understand are these, the two faces of discipline (kind of like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other!)

1. Will. Will’s face is frowning with condemnation. He carries a heavy feeling of “should” with him and says with a furrowed brow, things like, “You’ll never be great if you don’t practice more.” “You should be writing every day… wake up early and write! What’s your problem? Get some self discipline!” Yes, it’s not hard to see how heavy this makes us feel. Will shows up in fits and spurts, makes us feel guilty enough to get moving and then leaves us devoid of the motivation to continue. Will appears helpful but he doesn’t know that there is a power much greater than guilt to drive us forward. This mind-set forces the delicate and fragile nature of creating to grind to a halt.

2. Willing. This is the face of love… of knowing that you have all of the tools you need and that you deserve to allow greatness to flow through you. (I feel instantly good just typing that sentence!) This face looks upon you with compassion and says, “There is nothing to fear. Let your work flow through you and know that it is divine.” All of the creative energy of the universe is accessible through the face of Willing, and we don’t have to be perfect to step into this energy–we need only be still. Notice how this concept instantly makes you want to practice your craft, to hone it, and to nurture it.

I spent a good portion of my lifetime with Will, observing my own alleged lack of discipline for music (and in many other things in my life) and listening to my nagging mind chatter taking its toll on my songwriting. All this time, I believed I wasn’t good because I couldn’t Will myself to commit time and energy when, if I simply changed my approach to one of Willing, I had more energy for my art than I could have imagined possible!

What a freeing thought this was for me! My songwriting immediately took on a confidence that I had never before experienced, and my performances emanated a beautiful strength.

Now, when I find myself struggling with my discipline to create (or in any area of my life) I consider the two faces and ask myself which one I am allowing to sit on my piano bench with me. Do I want to spend time with a berating perfectionist or with a kind, loving force that connects me to strength and clarity? Now, when I find myself feeling badly about not meeting Will’s expectations, I can recognize his nattering voice.

I choose to instead put on the quiet face of Willingness, breathe in and back out again, and know that my work has purpose and life.

Natalie Hughes is a singer/songwriter, recording artist, musical director for Crystal Andrus Productions, and the Editor in Chief of simplywoman.com. For more on her music, visit nataliehughes.com

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