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conducting monthly check-ins to improve your marriage

By on December 16, 2013
mariage

With Char’ Berry.

About two or three years ago my marriage wasn’t in the place it is now. My husband was unhappy and didn’t even look forward to coming home in the evenings after work. I didn’t know it until he told me during an argument we were having. When I found out that I was making him feel that way, I felt ashamed, hurt, and that I was letting him down as his wife.

From that moment, I conducted my very first check-in. A check-in is a perfect tool for both spouses to use and it only consists of only three questions (the follow-up will have four questions). Each spouse must be honest and willing to be open to receive what the other spouse has to say. There’s one critical rule that each spouse must adhere to and it’s no bashing. The questions for the check-in are as follows:

1. Overall, on a scale from one to 10 (10 being great/awesome and one being not to great/need improvement) how am I doing as your spouse?

2. What things am I doing to uplift our marriage?

a. What improvements have I made? (follow-up check-ins only)

3. What do I need to change or improve to help our marriage?

The things that you are doing right, continue to do those because those are the things that continues to make your marriage improve and they also uplift your spouse. The things that you need to improve or change, work on those. It is important that both spouses adhere to using this tool and not just one. Support in a marriage consists of both spouses and not just one. By doing your monthly check-ins, you will continue to strengthen your marriage. It has definitely worked for mine.

At some point along this journey, you will be able to move from conducting your check-ins once a month to maybe once every two months or once every three months. I don’t recommend going more than three months out. Right now, our check-ins are only once every three months. Do what’s best for you. If you would like to continue to do them once a month then that will be fine as well.

Are you willing to use this system to help improve/save your marriage? If so, please share your feedback from your check-ins and how they have helped to improve your marriage.

With all my love and to your marital success,

Char’ Berry

 

Char Berry

Char Berry is a relationship coach, life coach, author of the forthcoming book, “Unleash Your Inner Rock Star: Rocking Relationships & Kicking Life’s Ass,” and owner of Divine Rock Star Coach where she helps women to unleash their divine rock star so they can have the rocking relationships and kick-ass lifestyle they’ve always wanted. To learn more about her work you  can visit her website at www.charberry.com.

 

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