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A Fertile Mind is a Fertile Body

By on February 10, 2022

By Mela Marie

I remember when I first received my diagnosis over 15yrs ago, I was a teenager then. I had no idea of the profound impact that a four-letter acronym would have over my life. PCOS or Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome is an endocrine disorder in which a woman’s body produces an abnormal supply of hormones that affect the reproductive cycle. Most often, this disorder makes it difficult for a woman to conceive.

It wasn’t until my first marriage that I began to fully understand exactly what having difficulty conceiving would mean for me. I am not afraid to admit that it has taken years, over a decade, for me to come full circle with it. It took years of self-study and finding social media groups full of women just like me before I even begin to understand that I was not alone.

At one point in my life, I believed that this diagnosis was a punishment, I just knew the universe was out to get me, but after a series of personal changes, I have learned that just because I have something, does not mean that it has me. This has not been an easy change; I did not just wake up one morning with a new outlook on life. It was and still is a process. A process that I must work at daily and a process that I would love to take a few moments to share with you.

The very first step in this process is learning to embrace your diagnosis because acceptance is key to being free. Now ‘to embrace’ does not mean become the diagnosis, we do not want to let it take over our consciousness influencing our bodies to believe the diagnosis to be fact, but we do want to learn to understand exactly what our diagnosis is, how it functions, and what effect it has on our bodies and our fertility.

Having a general understanding of your diagnosis helps it not seem so intimidating or so daunting. The more I learned about PCOS, the more empowered I became. I began to understand what to expect of myself and my body. I learned what was right and what was not right for me and how to communicate that to my doctor. I began to give myself more understanding and became less frustrated with my body.

Dealing with a condition that makes it difficult for you to conceive is not a curse, you are not broken. Difficult does not mean impossible! As you begin to learn more about your condition and develop a better understanding, it will become easier to embrace that while this is a setback, it’s also not a no, just ‘not right now’.

The second step in this process is to learn serenity: understand that you have the power to accept the things you cannot change as well as the power to change to things that you can. All the power that you need to embrace your condition is the same power that it is going to take to overcome it. That power comes in release, release your need to want to fix it, and your need to have control over your life and your body.

I recall being so frustrated that everything I tried was not working. I would try a new regimen desperately every month, and every month, I would disappoint myself. I could not understand why I could not just fix it, why was nothing working for me? It was heartbreaking. But then one night, I had a dream that reminded me to just flow with life, to live and let be. And I found peace, I decided to stop trying and to let my body find its natural rhythm. I went from having no monthly cycle without intervention to having a cycle that comes every month like clockwork with no thought at all.

We want to be able to control every aspect of our lives, but the reality is that we do not. As you begin to embrace your condition and embrace that it has no control over you and that you have no control over it, you will find peace. That peace is the key to your healing.

Fertility is a spiritual journey. It is not a sprint or a marathon, it is a journey, and some journeys take time. And that is perfectly ok. Understand that you are not alone on your journey. Know that you are equipped within with everything that you need to preserver. Have faith that your time is coming. Trust that you can, and you will overcome. Believe that your healing is in your hands.

I have been on this journey for over 15yrs now and I’m still patiently waiting. I am in it for the long haul. I have faith that I will receive all the desires of my heart and being a mother, carrying and growing my child in my womb, that is my desire. I will have it, in due time. In the meantime, I continue to focus on doing the necessary work.

Conception begins in the mind. By freeing your mind from self-doubt and thoughts that are hindering your body from doing what it is naturally designed to do, you begin to create a fertile mind which creates a fertile body. To accomplish this, you must learn the balance between intention and surrender.

Sometimes, we may have an intended purpose but, in our mind, we harbor a lot of self-doubt surrounding that purpose, unless we acknowledge those thoughts and surrender those feelings of self-doubt, we will instead create an environment that is prime for self-sabotage. One where we attract the very thing we DID NOT want to receive.

I learned that in the past, I was so afraid that my body would never function correctly and so obsessed with getting it to function correctly that my hormones became more and more out of balance. Unbalanced hormones led to my not getting my cycle monthly and I knew that if that wasn’t happening then of course how could I conceive? It was a constant cycle of self-doubt going around and around in my head.

We never stop to consider the power that our thoughts have over our body, but our thoughts are far more powerful than we give them credit. Thoughts give rise to action. If you want to have a healthy body and a healthy reproductive system, you must think healthy thoughts. You must free your mind.

You must release those thoughts so that you are open to receiving. Release those things that no longer serve your purpose, release the need for control over the situation, and release the need to understand why you. Sometimes releasing means you need to sit and have a good cry session, sometimes you need to yell, maybe even go try some smash therapy; however, you release it: LET IT OUT AND LET IT GO!!!

You have a unique opportunity to address any unresolved childhood traumas, traumas that could be mental and spiritual blocks preventing your body from natural conception. Now is the perfect time to address them, acknowledge them, feel them, and then let all those now resolved feelings go. Find out what your inner child is lacking and give it to her, nurture her, love her, and heal her.

I like to sit with a picture of my younger self weekly and just examine her. I look closely into her eyes and try to recall what I was thinking or feeling at that point in my life. Is there anything that I was lacking? Was I happy or sad? Sometimes I laugh with her and other times I cry for her. I make it my intention to heal the parts of me that were broken at an early age. I truly feel that inner child healing is key to healing your womb.

Begin to reframe negative self-talk by affirming yourself daily. Speak words of life and love and healing over yourself and your womb. Our words have the power to shape our reality, the words we speak about ourselves truly affect us. If you speak words of healing, your body will begin to respond to them. If you think thoughts of healing, your body will begin to respond to those thoughts.

I like to do mirror affirmations. I stand in the mirror, look myself in the eye, and encourage myself in whatever way that I need in the moment. I remind myself that I am beautiful, that I am loved, that I am worthy, and that I am deserving. I lay my hands over my heart and send myself vibrations of love. I lay my hands over my womb, and I speak words of life over her. I remind her that she is a portal of life, open and ready to receive.

Take this time to prepare your body: a healthy body + a healthy mind equals a healthy womb. Begin developing healthier habits, as you focus on shifting your lifestyle you’ll begin to focus less and less on not having conceived YET which releases your body from the excess worry and stress and frees it up to become a fertile environment for conception. Mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation are great stress relievers and work wonders for creating optimal conditions for your body to heal itself.

When I first began this journey, I was overweight and unhealthy. It has been a challenge, but I am finally at a healthy weight, and I try my best to be mindful of the things that I put into my body. I began meditating and it has proven to be the best form of stress relief; it truly helps me quiet my mind and focus my thoughts. Yoga is next up on my list.

Womb healing is key. You must nurture your womb, spend time with her, learn to understand what she wants, what she needs, what she’s lacking. Place your hands over your womb daily and send her vibrations of love and light and healing. Discover the benefits of yoni steaming. Yoni steaming involves the boiling of select herbs until it begins to produce medicine-filled steam that you sit on for about 30min twice weekly. Benefits of yoni steaming include reduction in menstrual cramps, shorter menstrual cycles, hormone regulation, and even conception.

Fertility hypnosis can also be of benefit here. Hypnosis for fertility involves multiple customized sessions with a trained Hypnotist to manage stress, address doubts, and anxieties, as well as release subconscious fears that may be preventing pregnancy. There are many benefits to fertility hypnosis such as stress relief, developing a more positive outlook on life, and you guessed it, conception!

The most important thing for you to remember is: Trust the process!! This journey is not for the faint of heart and although it may at times seem unfair understand that you are not forgotten. Learn to enjoy the journey while you wait and before you know it you will have arrived in the magical world of motherhood.

Release yourself from the worldly pressures to become a mom and trust that what is meant for you is for you! Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Listen to your body and give her what she needs when she needs it. Maintain a positive mindset by speaking words of life and healing. Live in love and love with patience. Know that all things happen in due time and that your due time is coming sooner than you think! You are not alone; we are in this together! I am right here with you, doing the work and cheering you on!

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Mela Marie is 36yrs old, married and resides in Houston, TX.  She is currently studying hypnotherapy

I believe that conception starts in the mind and that we are equipped with all of the tools that we need to help our bodies heal themselves.

 

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