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Imperfection and archetypes

By on August 16, 2016
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Written by Shelly Sarkar

What is health and what is sickness? I’ve always had an inner dilemma figuring this out.

What is sickness and what is creativity?

We live in a society where consistency and stability is rewarded but it leaves a lot of us out who can’t conform to this norm.

Having a mental illness is so difficult at times, because you’re always questioning whether or not you are well. Am I angry because I have a valid reason to be angry or am I getting unwell? Am I catastrophizing? Is there a real threat? Or do I just need to do some CBT?

I love my father as he’s one of the most consistent people I know. Every day at the crack of dawn, he’s exercising for an hour and meditates. He has a beautiful big garden full of vegetables that he waters twice a day and he prays every night.

My mom and I make plans, Pilates classes at the local YMCA, nature walks where we’d David Suzukied the local parks, hike up mountains, make plans to join the local Brahma Kumaris and dedicate our lives to mediating and peace. But consistency was always the key.

I admire people who can day in and out give the same effort leading to a reliable outcome.

Creatives, dart back and forth, so sometimes it doesn’t look like progress is being made until the whole project is completed. Process and progression come in waves.

It’s normal to have ups and downs, highs and lows.

We live in a society where we have to be “on” all the time and I find this unrealistic; you really do need to go through periods in life where you need your archetypes, it’s less stressful and it keeps your subconscious safe and intact.

It’s like climbing up a mountain vs. coloring in a picture or cleaning rooms in a house. Parts get accomplished and the whole slowly comes together. For some people you see progress steadily day in and day out until a goal is accomplished. For others it’s a lot of back and forth , trial and error, until the goal is accomplished.

Whenever I’m at my parents, the thing that annoys them the most is me leaving cups and bowls all over the house when I get into one of my creative writing frenzies. Instead of putting them in the sink and cleaning them one by one and right away. I’m the type of person to collect, then go into crazy dishwashing mode for a half hour. Find it more rewarding looking at a stack of newly clean dishes. Feel more accomplished.

It’s taken me many years to embrace this aspect of my personality being a bit of a circle in a square hole, I still work at it every day. but I do believe that there is beauty in thinking like this. Great accomplishments occur during creative periods in life and it makes us human.

 

aaa111Shelly is a mental health advocate and enjoys writing and walking 5km and 10kms.

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