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My new day, to 'rock' or un'rock' Me.

By on June 27, 2016
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By Wildcherry Jem

Struck, once again, by my ‘rock’hard resistance toward making myself vulnerable during my involvement in forums like this one, I woke up feeling my old fears about failure, rejection, and loss.

Today is My new day, to ‘rock’ or un’rock’ Me.

I can choose to ‘rock’ myself in various ways.

I can ‘rock’ by submerging beneath the same one that I’ve often hidden beneath when fear of failure has overwhelmed me….

Or, I can ‘rock’ myself gently by pretending that I’m too delicate to face my fears so need to soul-snooze this one out by refusing to truly play big and show up in my fullness.

I can ‘rock’ my unfinished works by digging up past wounds, and picking off spirit-scabs in my anxiety.

Maybe temporary mental-mutilation might cause me to create a painful distraction from revealing too much of myself.

Therefore, I’d efficiently bloody my internal screen enough that I’m blinded temporarily toward not expressing my painful-to-see truth.

I can ‘rock’ other women, in my version of a cradle of love, and mother them to sidestep the me-parenting that I so desperately need, and achingly long for.

I can ‘rock’ /stone my emotions with obliterating moves to destroy my word-wantonness and thus, kill off my desire to share my intimate thoughts. Take this and that and those, word-whore! Ouch.

I can ‘rock’ encase my herstory in cemented sections, as each secretive sanctuary of self-destructive isolation shows up in my city of Jeanette, which could result in me not going out on or coming in to myself.

Alternatively, I could choose, this day, to shatter my ‘rocks’ of skittering nervousness, jump bareback onto my filly-o-fear, rodeo queen around inside my inner landscape by barreling around each obstacle, and swagger out onto my stage like a ‘rock’star who knows the empowering worthwhileness of ‘rock’ing her world.

Today, I choose to show up here for Me, before all of you, ‘rocks’ and all.

 

jeanetteWildcherry Jem writes about the joy of being a woman. She encourages women to embrace the sacred discipline of self-care with an emphasis upon pleasurable living.

For thirty years, she has been married to the father of her many children and has been a stay-at-home-mom. She blogs at https://wildcherryjems.wordpress.com/

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