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a recipe for being your best ever you

By on July 10, 2013
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By Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino.

This recipe has been passed from generation to generation and is one of our world favorites.  You may not need all of the ingredients to make this recipe, so mix up some of the items on a daily basis and follow the instructions below.

Items Needed:
You
20 Cups of Laughter
15 Cups of Grace
10 Cups of Peace
10 Cups of Love
7 Cups of Elegance
5 Cups of Courage
3 Cups of Patience
1 1/2 Cups of Determination
1 1/2 Cups of Acceptance
1 Cup of Humility
1 Cup of Confidence
1 tsp. of wisdom
1 pinch of reality

Allergy Alert: This product was not manufactured in a facility with any fear, jealousy or doubt.

Step 1.  Stop thinking everyone else has it better  
You know it when you think it: “They drive a cleaner car, have more cash in the bank, have a bigger shoe collection, a better job, a book deal, a better body, a new baby,” or whatever else you may appear to see or think you see or assume is true of someone else’s life.  Everyone’s life around the world appears to be perfect with the exception of yours. There are days when you might catch yourself glancing at the marks on your walls thinking the house across the street is perfectly unscathed. But whose reality are you really seeing? Upon closer inspection, you will likely discover that no one’s life is perfect and for every cleanest, best waxed car ever there is a crumb somewhere else.  So it is important to focus on yourself and only yourself with respect to your own life and world and to evaluate ONLY how you are doing in this life of yours.   We keep the word perfect out of our vocabulary here at Best Ever You.  It says Best Ever You, not Perfect Ever You.

Step 2. Moments Matter
How are you using your precious time?  Are you living a life awake, aware and with purpose and intention or are you just moseying along? Are you in the present moment or are you in some future moment of worry or some past moment of regret or trying to reclaim a past glory moment.  Nothing is worse than missing a moment. Think of the parent on the ever so important phone call or sitting at the computer as their child is trying desperately in any way to grab a moment of their real presence and attention, but the parent just nods and barely acknowledges the child or worse gets angry at the child.  Think of the moments you wish you could steal back and replay with your parent or parents who have now passed. Think of the moments you wish you could bring back when your kids were younger.  Life is a priority.

3. Find Your Why
It takes a look within to learn and practice and be your Best Ever You. It is important to understand that it is a continuous process.  There is always a moment to be your best or help someone be their best. When we become engaged, consumed or perhaps overwhelmed with life’s responsibilities it is easy to let ourselves slip into the behaviors or habits that are less than our best. We live our daily lives facing a continuum between best and stressed. Our environment can become cluttered, we may not sleep as well, we may make choices that reduce our positive energy and generates more of a stress based response to our daily life. These are all clues that something needs to shift. If we took a minute to write out what our life looks and feels like when we are feeling our best we would find there are indicators that we can follow to monitor our well-being.

Stop and think.  What is your reason?  What is your why?   What inspires and motivates you?

4. Examine Your Positive Self
When you look in the mirror, what do you say?  When you are in a room are full of people, what are you thinking or how do you behave? Are you spewing venom on yourself and killing your self-esteem.  Quick. Find the antidote.  It’s the power of positive thinking.  Inject yourself with powerful positive language and live on.  Say positive thoughts and words like “I am beautiful.” “I am loved.” “I am capable.” “I accept myself.” and “I am worthy.”

5.  Create Your Best Life 
Each day, each hour, and each moment we have the opportunity to stop and to reassess how we are feeling and start over. Examine the areas of your life that you wish were different and begin each moment to be your best. Sign up for our monthly newsletter and receive our free Create Your Best Life Coaching tool. Visit this link to get started. http://www.besteveryou.com/get-started-create-your-best-life.htm This will help you identify those key areas that create stress versus joy.  What changes are you going to focus on? Here are some clues that some specific areas of your life need attention:
-Physical environment: Is it cluttered or neat and organized?
-Physical health: Are we eating, sleeping, and exercising?
-Emotional reactivity: Do we have the ability to calmly respond versus react? What is the status of relationships? What’s you fun factor?
-Spiritual energy: Is there something meaningful and purposeful in our lives? Are we inspired?
-Social: Are we engaging with others? Do we have a sense of community?

6.  Discover Your Values and Create a Value System for Yourself
This can be tricky as we age, as the values that we were raised with may not be the values we grow into.  Our lives and our value systems are dynamic and change. What values do you have that direct your big picture decisions? If someone gave you a limited life expectancy would you be able to say you are living today, the way you would want to for the remainder of your life? What would change? What do you want your children to understand as most important or what do you want people to remember most about you? These questions alert us to whether or not our values are aligned with our actions and lifestyle. If values aren’t aligned, asking ourselves what is true to who we are, can redirect us and bring new awareness to what we seek to change.

7. Practice Wellness
How well are you taking care of yourself? Are you treating yourself well? What is wellness to you? Do you feel fit? Are you satisfied with how you feel? Are you eating well?  Are you exercising?  Are you stepping into your closet and having a cringe-factor moment where nothing fits? Practice wellness.  It may be part of a new value system you implement for yourself.  Practicing overall wellness has more components that just your jeans fitting on any given day.  Wellness is an overall way of choosing to live.  It’s eating healthier, mindset, exercise, and finding a way for yourself where the internal critical and worrying voice(s) quiet.  It’s being ready for the big event now, for example, instead of seeing the event six months down the road and going on a crash diet for it.  It’s a way of always being. It’s practicing wellness habits that help you feel your best each day.

8.  Discover the Power of We and Us
The power of we begins with you. We think you are amazing and awesome in every way, but life is not all about you.  It’s about us – together.  Ask someone today, “How can I help you?”  You’ll be amazed at the responses.

-What have you done for the world lately?
-Are you showing up when you are needed?
-How often do you do something for others just because you want to – not because it’s expected?
-Do you do things for others and expect nothing in return?
-Do you turn off that voice that nags at you when you can’t believe you did something for someone, but they did nothing for you in return?

9. Manage your behavior(s)
Who we truly are at our best is often reflected in how we behave. Does our behavior match our values? Do we respond to situations versus react? Are we generous and understanding versus critical and judgmental? We usually operate somewhere on a continuum each day depending on how calm and aware we are of what our wise inner voice is saying. When we aren’t able to hear that highest self-talk, we often neglect our self-care and turn to external calming sources. When we have tendency towards over-indulging it is usually triggered by this imbalance and not hearing our wisest messages coming from within. Quiet awareness and examination of our daily circumstances and their influence on our behavior can help us get back into focus of our best self.

10. Failure & Pain are Teaching Moments
How many times have you stopped yourself from trying something because you were afraid you wouldn’t be good enough? How many times have you hit your thigh on the corner of a drawer before you walk a different route or stop, pause and shut the drawer first in awareness that it is open and you’ve been through this before?  We learn from failure or disappointment.  Moments can be wake up calls and it is important to tune in, listen and adjust your life and behavior accordingly.

On a deeper level, when we pass through a crisis that brings fear and anxiety and sadness or whatever strong emotions that come, eventually, the realization that we can learn something and be a better us from the experience comes to us. The sooner we quietly assess a situation from a place of strength, the sooner we make the best choices for our lives.

 11. Laugh at Yourself
Have you laughed at yourself today?  We are each our own stand-up comedian routine if you stop and think about how funny life can be.  Sometimes there is even humor in the darkest of moments and sometimes that humor guides us to see the brightest days.  Laugh at yourself.  We all do some of the silliest things.

12. Surround Yourself with Love 
Side step naysayers.  With even the slightest of change, comes a force around you trying to help you stay your very best same as always person.  You may think to yourself one day, “Self, I just don’t want to be this way anymore.” As a result, you start to make changes.

Naysayers are people who make fun of you or try to stop you from making changes or who want you to give up. They may not even know how they are as sabotaging your efforts because they are out of touch with their own struggles. They’re often people who are trying to break the cycle themselves or have yet to acknowledge their habits. They aren’t wrong to think the way they do, but their thoughts just don’t fit yours anymore. Breaking free from their influence can be difficult. The only cook that needs to be in the kitchen is you.

13. Make Small Lasting Changes
Take one thing – a thought, an idea, a value, or a belief – and make that one thing a focus point. Allow yourself ten minutes each day in silence to write, think, or ponder whatever thoughts come up around this one thought or idea. It’s amazing how just one small change can have an everlasting ripple effect leading to bigger changes. Many people make repeated attempts, create resolutions, and demonstrate efforts to try to bring themselves to center. This generally doesn’t work well and usually the opposite effect occurs. In order to create lasting, transformative change, usually you must find your center and then adjust your lifestyle.

14. Find Your Best, Most Peaceful You
Peace rests within your heart. When your heart speaks, it is very important to tune in and listen. It’s your own internal peace guidance system.  Find what makes you peaceful. Just be YOU. No one can take you away from you.  You are you.  We are each unique with our own special talents and gifts.  Who are you?  What is your: Who? What? Where? When? and Why?

15. Figure out What Money Can and Can’t Buy
Money can’t keep you alive forever. Money has a deceiving way of appearing to make our time here easier.  Does money buy love?  Money buys things, but do things matter?  Are you better than someone else or is someone better than you because of their things and money?  Does money buy better behavior and peace within? Truly, does the person with the most toys win?  Does the lack of money cause you to not get the attention or recognition you need as a person?

Just what is the point of money?

It’s a discussion with ourselves that not many of us have and yet it remains one of the most argued about topics around us.  From governments to your own home, money is a battle ground topic. Are we here today to help make the world a little bit better than when we leave it or are we here to just take, take, take and never give?
For many people, money is a source of always wanting more.  You can always hear folks saying, “If only I had $450,000, I could……  If only I had $1,000,000 I would…”
Handling and dealing with money issues starts with a belief that it can be better, no matter what is happening in your life such as job promotions, inheritance, job loss, wage cuts, downsizing or ill health.

Regardless of financial situation or circumstances there are many different ways to find happiness.
Giving away our power to be happy based on any one thing only defeats us. It’s not about our money. It’s about how we make meaning from our circumstances and how we direct our energy. Some of the most generous people in the world barely have enough to eat, but they share what they have.
Money is really a compound issue of wants combined with reality combined with circumstances all mixing together to make you a manager of money whether you like it or not.

How are your money managing skills?
Think about your real life needs for a moment.
Today I have ____________.
I’d like to set a goal of earning ________________.
Specifically, I am going to do that by doing _________________.

Then each year, these sentences grow, change and alter with another set of circumstances invading those sentences called LIFE.

My reality today is that I got promoted at work and I can _______________.
My reality today is that I received an unexpected bonus and I can ____________.
My reality today is that I am in the hospital and actually spending ____________ rather than me earning ___________.
My reality today is that my septic tank broke resulting in a bill of ____________.
My reality today is that my child is going to college next year, resulting in a bill of ________________________________________. (Notice that line is longer than the others!!)

You can see how complicated money is and how we use it. Think about your life with respect to money, what you dream, what you need, what you want and what you actually have and how you manage that and find happiness within.

RECIPE NOTES: 
Your favorite family recipes are passed from generation to generation.
The recipe cards are tattered, torn or sometimes so secret they are memorized.
Excellent recipes remain with us and feed our mind, body and spirit, creating our best.

 

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, Hay House author and founder and CEO of the Best Ever You Network, understands firsthand the challenges life can bring and has worked with thousands across the globe to illuminate their light within and help them live their best life. She has a degree in communications and broadcasting; is a life coach, food-allergy expert, and anaphylaxis survivor; and is the host of The Best Ever You Show. Elizabeth lives with her husband and four boys in Maine. She has tried tea, but is a bit more philosophical when she drinks coffee. Elizabeth is the author of Percolate – Let Your Best Self Filter Through (Hay House, 4.14.14)

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