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God's Promises Stand (GPS)
By Alisha Porter
Hi, my name is Alisha, and I own my story so that it will not own me.
I grew up with many dark valleys and unpredictable moments living in the inner city in the Chicago Housing Authority, also known as “the projects.” People were always hanging out at all times of the day and night drinking and smoking. The elevator was broken most of the time, and the hallways and the stairwell always wreaked of urine. We moved here when I was about two. It was me, my mother, her live-in boyfriend, and my younger sister. We all lived on the 13th floor in a tiny two-bedroom apartment. The walls were made of large concrete cylinder blocks covered in basic white paint, and the floors were covered with inexpensive black vinyl floor tiles.
I spent most of my childhood with a very special woman who I called Mama – my maternal grandmother. My grandmother was my safe space. My pleasant moments were away from home. My grandmother had everything we didn’t have; a front and back yard, plenty of outdoor space, four bedrooms and two bathrooms, and a basement.
I still remember this like it was yesterday. I was about five years old, and Mama said, “Alisha, your mind is your most valuable possession that you will ever have. It is yours, and it doesn’t belong to anyone else – not your mother and not your father. Alisha, you are never to let anyone in your personal mental space.” This one meaningful conversation prepared me for many dark valleys and unpredictable moments that I would encounter in my life.
I’m fifteen. It’s a hot sunny day. While I’m standing at a bus stop on the north side of Chicago, I’m kidnapped by a pimp. He put a machete to my neck and said, “if you don’t get into my car, I am going to kill you right here.” So, I did exactly as I was told. He was short in stature with a short Afro and wore really thick eyeglasses. He drove a dark old beat-up Cadillac. I attempted to escape once the car stopped at a red light, but he caught me while I was running away. The drive was a short distance from the bus stop.
Once we were on the inside of his tiny one-bedroom apartment, he took all of my clothes and raped me for one week. I still remember his penis was huge. He told me that I was the “dullest fuck” that he ever had. What did he expect? I was 15 and being held against my will.
I laid in bed the entire week. I did not eat or sleep much that week. The only thing I told myself over and over was, “I’m getting out of here.” I wasn’t focused on what he was saying or what he was doing. I just did as he told me. He told me to crawl on my hands and knees, so I did.
I thought about leaving while he was sleeping, though it was only a thought because I didn’t have any clothes.
After a week, the time came for him to give me my instructions for “turning tricks.” I was told that I would “make nothing less than one thousand dollars every night.” He said this over and over. It was my turn to repeat everything he had said. I heard a voice telling me not to question anything, just go with it. As I was repeating exactly what he had said, my mind was still saying, “I am getting out of here.”
We were done with my brainwashing session, and the last thing he had said was he was giving me some quarters because the police would be driving around, and he wanted me to pretend like I was on the payphone. Shortly after, he drove to a familiar area where I would be “working the streets.” The payphone was exactly where he said it would be, so I used the quarters to call my uncle who lived nearby, scared and shaking that the moment had finally arrived, I knew that God’s promises stand. My uncle was there in less than five minutes.
My uncle drove me to the hospital, where my mother and father were waiting for me. Instead of being consoled by them, and the rapist arrested, my mother told the police officers that I was lying. No charges were filed.
In my life, I’ve learned that no matter the hardships you encounter, the abuse you endure, or the neglect you suffer, if you allow him, God will always have your back, and his promises always stand.
Here is a quote that has helped me on my journey:
“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them makes life meaningful.” – Joshua Marine
Although I’ve been through more challenges than I could have ever anticipated, I now know wholeheartedly that my life is full of meaning. And each day, I learn more about my incredible mind and the teacher within me.
********
After an extremely traumatic childhood growing up in “the projects” of Chicago, involving physical, mental, and sexual abuse, rape, an abortion at 11-years-old, and being kidnapped at a bus stop and held hostage at 15 by a pimp, today Alisha Porter has defied the odds. A trailblazer, Alisha made it her priority to break the cycle of abuse and give her son the life she never had. Today they have a beautiful relationship, and he is in the midst of getting his Ph.D. After desperately trying to create a better life, a few years ago, Alisha faced a dark valley she could never have anticipated; stage 3 breast cancer. And rather than let it debilitate her, she used it as a gift to see the areas in her life still filled with pain and make peace with her past. Alisha is currently becoming a Certified Empowerment Coach through the S.W.A.T. Institute and has made it her mission to use her voice and experiences to help others heal their past and see their light, one woman at a time.