Home   >   Art & Lifestyle   >   Life will still kick you in the head, even when you’re empowered!

Life will still kick you in the head, even when you're empowered!

By on July 30, 2018
booya

By Crystal Andrus Morissette

It’s a myth that once you become empowered in your life, everything will go your way.

It’s just not true.

Life will always deal us setbacks, even sometimes tragedies, no matter how positive or ‘high-resonating’ you are.

In fact, I recently experienced a really hurtful end to a relationship that I thought was in a super good place. This friend stopped speaking to me with no explanation. No reason. No argument. No idea why?

I reached out a few times with no response. I was stonewalled.

My feelings were hurt. I was confused and yes, the truth is, if I didn’t have the empowerment tools I have today, it may have sucked me back into the muck.

The good news, it didn’t.

It hurt. So, I felt the hurt. I reminded myself, “You can’t control people. You can’t make people listen. Understand. Communicate. Love you. Like you. Want you. Some people shut down when they are upset. Sometimes they pull away to retreat into their own little bubble, and as much as it feels personal, IT CAN’T BE ABOUT ME.”

This loving inner self-talk is a sample of what empowerment looks like.

Instead of stewing in the hurt, I’ve learned how to ask myself the right questions that inevitably always lift me back up into a higher level of consciousness. These are the series of questions I created and I wanted to share them with you:

  1. Shame: Do I know what happened that made me feel inadequate, humiliated, or ashamed? Describe it.
  2. Guilt: Do I feel bad because of it? What did I do (or what didn’t I do) that I wish I could change?
  3. Apathy: Deep down, do I ultimately blame someone else for this? (Hint: Tell yourself the truth: You do blame someone!)
  4. Grief: Did their actions hurt me, change me, or keep me stuck? How? What do I wish would have happened instead? (I really allowed myself to feel my sorrow.)
  5. Fear: Is some kind of hidden fear preventing me from dealing with this? Or from feeling this? In other words, am I always finding myself ‘stuck’ when it comes to this issue or person? What am I most afraid will happen if I move forward?
  6. Desire: If I were not afraid, would I make the necessary changes? What would I do? (I’d list my deepest desires as if I had a magic wand and couldn’t fail.)
  7. Anger: Is this current situation unacceptable, unfair, and/or unhealthy the way it is? What is it that ‘I hate’ about this situation? (I would list every single thing I hated. I needed to use my anger as jet-fuel to propel me into empowerment.)
  8. Pride: How can I be so certain? What evidence do I have to substantiate or discredit this belief?
  9. Neutrality: Is it possible there are two sides to this story? Can I rise above myself and my anger? If so, what do I see?
  10. Courage: What would courage have me do?
  11. Willingness: Am I willing to do it? Where there’s a will, there’s a way! What are my next steps?
  12. Acceptance: Once I do all that I’m able to, can I accept that some things are out of my control? Can I accept myself regardless of the outcome? Can I accept the outcome?
  13. Love: Do I, at the very least, deserve my own love regardless of anyone or anything else? Do I love myself in spite of everything I’ve gone through? Can I tell myself how much I love myself no matter who doesn’t love me and who has hurt me, shamed me, or neglected me? (Say I love you, Crystal!)
  14. Joy: Am I ready to regain my childlike wonder, curiosity, imagination, interest, excitement, awe, trust, joy, and belief in life and in myself again? If so, can I forgive the person who is connected to this part of my story? When? (Remember, forgiveness does not mean “do it again” or “what you did was okay.” It means I won’t hold onto this anger at you anymore. I let it go. I let you go.”)
  15. Peace: Do I move in sync with life, trusting that all is unfolding as it should, as it will, and as it is meant to be? Do I see my life as a continuing stream of loving, healing, expansion—feeling more and more at home in my own skin?

Sometimes, life will still kick you in the head, even when you’re empowered! The good news is that we get to choose how we will handle it.

I hope my questions will help you the next time, someone hurts you.

Warmly,
Crystal

XOX

P.S. If you want to learn how to be more empowered, or to become a certified empowerment coach, click here!

********

Crystal Andrus Morissette, Founder

CrystalFounder2

From life as a homeless teen to coaching A-List celebrities, from having abs of steel and the Miss Galaxy to weighing over 200 pounds after having babies, Emotional Age and Communication Expert Crystal Andrus Morissette is a worldwide leader in the field of self-discovery and personal transformation. A media darling, she has been featured numerous times on Oprah.com, the New York Post, Fox TV, the Daily Mail, CBS Radio, CTV, CityTV, Global TV, Slice TV, the Globe and Mail, and the Toronto Star. Crystal is the founder of the S.W.A.T. Institute (Simply Woman Accredited Trainer), an empowerment coach certification exclusively for women that she created with fellow female visionaries Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Dr Christiane Northrup, Colette Baron-Reid, and Sandra Anne Taylor among others. Established in 2009, the S.W.A.T. Institute is now in over 30 countries.

Crystal is the author of five best-selling books, including her latest release entitled, “Simply…Woman: Stories from 30 magnificent women who have risen against the odds!” She is also certified in nutrition, sports medicine, and yoga.

Crystal’s message of resilience, strength, and inner power has allowed her to grace the stage with speakers such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Naomi Judd, Suze Orman, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Joan Borysenko, Debbie Ford, Sarah Ferguson—Duchess of York, and many more. Crystal has coached women from all walks of life including A-list celebrities, best-selling authors, scientists, doctors, dentists, and lawyers to stay-at-home moms and struggling teens. Her passion is to get down in the trenches and help people become the (s)heroes of their own lives.

www.crystalandrusmorissette.com | www.swatinstitute.com | www.SimplyWomanBook.com | www.SimplyWoman.com | www.SimplyWomanSummit.

About simply...woman!

We encourage spreading the message of knowledge and wisdom. We appreciate and thank our featured partners for their articles. All information provided on Simply…Woman online magazine is for reference only; the content is based on the authors’ experiences and therefore is not intended as a substitute to the services of a fully qualified professional. Although every reasonable effort is made to present current and accurate information, Simply…Woman makes no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of the information.